scribble/my apartment.

To be or not to be?

Early this morning I heard a knock on my door and decided to open up to see who it was. To my surprise it was the same girl who knocked yesterday, the one that said her house was on fire and she needed help except it wasn’t, she fooled me into her house and what I saw shook my heart. In her living room, right there on her couch was her boyfriend; naked with absolutely nothing on but yogurt smeared on his coo chi. I screamed from shock but Anita grabbed me from behind and they both took me to the bedroom and tied me to the bed.

She started, Anita started by taking off all of my clothes while Sawyer stood there watching, absolutely naked with nothing but the smeared yogurt on his coo chi. Afterwards she took my nipples in her mouth. And caressed it with her tongue, squeezed it tightly first then gently and soft. I had I black out and woke up two hours later on my bed and behold I had been dreaming.

So today Anita was there again, standing in front of me except this time I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming. she said there was a fire in her house and she needed help but I couldn’t move my lips, couldn’t say nothing, I just stood there staring and staring at her, more so I couldn’t move, it was li- it was like-like everything was still, even the air from my breath seized and I couldn’t blink. Anita repeated herself, there was a fire in her house and she needed help. I went with her to her house, and in her living room was her boyfriend lying on the couch with nothing on but their dog; Perry giving him head. I had another blackout and woke up five minutes ago relieved it was yet another dream. Oh! it has to be a dream.

~Fiction~

JUST A LITTLE WISER!!!

Its my birthday today. i just thought i'lld let you know. your kind thoughts, blessings and prayers are all welcome.


how am doing??? am just there. just another day like the rest of them but mos def a little wiser than yesterday.

how the last year went by? ill'd say i came out every tunnel shining illuminously. so i give thanks.

love you all.

i will update next week with a proper post.

~kisses~

update... oh my i just got flowers and chocolates sent upstairs from security. from this guy that wants me as his girlfriend. awww am blushing lol... awww bless. i feel really special now and ive got all my work mates wanting to know wot d deal is with this guy. he is not my boyfriend i say. and they reply well not yet. lol!!!

My keeping thus far!

so... one of my last real post talked about me getting a transfer and moving cities. I didnt get the 2bedmroom apartment i talked about and ended up bunking in my friend's place for some 3 gruesome weeks. i say gruesome because i felt so uncomfortable, my things were left unpacked in boxes and bags it wasnt it at all. i felt so choked and miserable.

...then we decided to save some money and get a place together, i agreed; good idea why not? we go view a newly built apartment still on the edge of completion and fell immediately in love with it. the show room was off the chain, it had 2 master bedrooms with 1 shower room/toilet and a bathroom/toilet. we decided as soon as it was completed 1 week from then, we were moving in instantly. agreed.
when we got to her house, she told to me that she would be taking the shower room/toilet because she hates bath tubs. fair enough for me since am a bathroom freak never minding she wasnt discussing it, she simply stated it. 2mins later i got a catelogue and started looking through bathroom decor only for her to tell me she's getting jealous and she doesnt think she wants the shower room no more. i laughed that off, how ridiculous???

this young lady decided to wake me up from sleep to tell me she needs to talk to me about the apartment we will soon be sharing. guys i was mighty ticked off cos i was so tired. she goes; 'ive been thinking about the idea of me taking the shower room and i dont think i like it very much. i know am not into taking baths but i quite enjoy the decor that comes with a bathroom'. ok not precisely but that was what she said. i asked her what she wanted she said it will be nice to share both. i tell her no problem can i go back to bed. she's like even if we dont share we can use either one and leave the second for guests. i said not problem was that all she said yes and i went back to bed.

we saw 2 showrooms, the 2bed and the 1bed. quite frankly, the 1bed was so nice and i had been dreaming of it ever since the day but i didnt want to be the horrible person to say; right! i want to live alone after agreeing to share a place.

and so... that night i said a prayer to God, that he should teach me what to do and show me a way out of getting a place with her.

at work the next day on my lunch break i get a text. saying she thinks moving together is not a good idea and she is not ready for the expenses and stress that comes with it.

... that was my ticket to freedom. i immediately sent her a text saying i understand and it is completely ok, ill just get the 1bed then. that was one of the happiest days of my life. i called the agent told him about my plans and immediate arranged to move in at the end of the week, the opening of the apartments.

when i got to my friend's house that day, i didnt want any frictions so i carried on as normal, she was uncomfortable i could tell but i kind of eased her tension by talking to her about what she wanted to do next. i didnt tell her i had arranged to move by the end of the week though. the day after she asked what i was doing for the weekend and i answered nothing. she then went ahead to say cos her boyfriend is coming so i'll have to arrange something. which means i should find my square root in the weekend. in an unfairliar city u guys. i thought that was most horrible.

you needed to see the reaction on her face when i told her i was moving out on the friday; absolutely PRICELESS!!!

I now live in my beautiful apartment. happy with life most joyous that the Lord had guided my footsteps and i tell u, life could not be sweeter.

problem now is because its newly built. the postcode is not yet recognised and i have no internet connection, no cable and no landfone. apart form that life is purrfect!!!

the apartement is fully furnished so there was not much i could do with decor except give it some touches here and there to make it mine own private space. plus it is so spacious its just beautiful. i go to work and all i can dream of is going back to my house just to be in it.
this is the summary of my life in the last 2months.

... so, tell me what u've been up to.

LETTER TO MY BELOVED + AM ALIVE

Am really sorry blog family, am too busy for words and i actually am squeezing this in for you guys just so my blog doesnt remain dead for longer than it already is.

YOU COME IN SWAGGERED UP LIKE YOU OWN MY TERRITORY

TELL YOU WHAT, I BET YOU DO.

IN YOUR FLASHING WHITE TEETH YOU BROADEN YOUR GRIN.

EYES SPARKLING LIKE LITTLE DROPS OF DIAMONDS ON OLD SOUTH AFRICAN ROCKS.
I TAKE IN YOUR SMILE,

YOUR AIR FEELS MY LUNGS AND SLIGHTLY ALMOST CAUSE IT TO EXPLODE

YOU ARE MY LOVE, MY BELOVED LOVE.

DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR SPEECH ENGULFS THE SYLLABLES IN MY NAME?

HOW PERFECTLY YOUR MOUTH ROUNDS THE LETTERS MY NAME MAKE UP?

HOW TINGLY MY TUMMY GETS WHEN YOU NEAR ME?

I BET I DIDNT, NOW YOU KNOW.

DARLING BELOVE I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER OF GRATITUDE

TO THANK YOU FOR THE SPLENDID, HEART SHATTERING, BED BREAKING LOVE

MAKING SESSIONS WE INVOLVE IN.

THOSE ARE THE GREATEST.

HOW YOU BEND ME OVER WHILE SWEAT ROLL FROM THE BACK OF MY NECK TO MY SUPPLE BOTTOM.

YOU MY DEAR HAVE YOUR NAUGHTY WAYS.

NOW STOP SMILING, WE DONT WANT YOUR PERFECT FACE GETTNG WRINKLED OVER EXUBERANT EXPRESSION,

PICTURE ME SPANKING YOU HARD FOR THAT.

BELOVE YOU DO NOT HAVE THE KEYS TO MY HEART DO YOU?

BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO BE LOCKED AND I CANNOT FIND THE KEYS.

IF YOU DO, BRING IT ALONG WITH YOU

SO WE CAN FINALLY START A LIFE TOGETHER

I AM SICK OF LIVING IN MY HEAD WITH YOU

PLEASE SHOW YOUR FACE

BY THE COLOUR OF THE KEYS IN YOUR HANDS

I WILL KNOW IT IS YOU.

please ignore every mistake made too much hurry. kisses mi loves.

RANTING!!!

... and i thot the second half of new cars come out in september. as it is, new cars in the UK come out twice a year. March and Sept. One will think i should be very busy now, with bmw, mercedes and other car freaks buying brand new cars and disturbing my peace at work during feb and august but am bored senseless here. i miss my customers, sad as that might sound, i really do. some of them are so much fun. one of them begged to add him on FB just yesterday. at first i took the email down, then i thought nahh forget it.

blogville!!! am yarning. ok the olympics, who's following??? china as at yesterday has 25 gold medals? thatz insane. its only been a week mates!

so my transfer has been sorted fully, and come 1st of sept i'll be in a new city, earning bigger money, enhancing myself with better benefits and taking home mega bonus. life is great. i wonder what the future of the newcity holds. maybe i'll finally leave the single life. you never know. i just might discover that the city is where i belong or it may turn out terrible. maybe i'll hate the whole place but i doubt i will.

i cant wait to get into my new flat. fully furnished, new apartment, two bedrooms, in the heart of the city. decorating is my talent. by the time i finish with my place, they will name the whole building LIGHTY. this is excitement speaking i tell you.

let me see what else is going on in my life...

oh! so am going to watch batman again today for the third time. i know right??? i must be a freak but this time am watching it on 3D. I cannot wait for those effects on 3D especially the car fight part, that would be MEGA!!!

anyways my darling, its time to go home. so imma holla later.

afro darling, i know i avnt come thru but i will, i promise.

i was speaking to one of my customers the other day and she insisted i watch her son on TV today or was it yesterday. i cannot rememeber now but she told me about a month ago, even if am one day off at least i still manage to remember shea? i call that customer relation. apparently her son is supposed to be the strongest man in the whole of the midlands in England and BBC is supposed to air an interview or is it a show show-casing his strenght which may enable him to feature in the world record.

i just checked my diary it was yesterday the 15th oh well. am sure they'll show a re-run or i could just watch BBC Iplayer for the re-run.

abeg i dey go house. not before i get myself two pairs of shoes from the stores though. am off to bask in my excitment, if that makes sense.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee muahXXX.

Life of a snail...

Warning! This piece was inspired by …yesterday has gone and sort of a sub story. The piece reflects the life of the snail Celestina had desperately wished for. To really appreciate this, I encourage you to take the time out to visit the story because this piece is basically taken out and expanded.

…

Its hard back refused to absorb the tiny drops of rain

Observed it slowly makes its way from stones to trees

Heavily it breaths, chest on ground, shoulders chipped

The burden has become unbearable

The cold second nature

Even the leaves that so often gave a refuge now become prison

Underneath these supposed leaves of shield lies its death

For unknown forces could settle upon it

Crushing every substantial evidence of its existence

Numerous times this had happened

Just has its sister’s babies were stomped, bulldozing even her in her failed attempt to save their very lives

Slowly, selfless and feeble it makes its way

Towards the rotten wood its place of rest

Relieved that yet another day had gone past sparing its life

Thinking of what tomorrow will entail

Peace and happiness flowing through its mind

But abruptly cut short

As one of the unknown forces stepped on it, crushing everything that made it

And without noticing marched along, hands in pocket, whistling a melody.
…

Note: it so happens we wish to have other people’s life instead of focusing on how to fix our problems, a way of settling for the easy way out I guess. We automatically assume no one else apart from us suffer or have problems and so nurture thoughts wishing for their lives. Unfortunately everyone has one or two issues that trouble them. In this piece I compare the human life to a snail’s life to fully show that not only humans but every living creature has a problem of its own.

FoolyWang

My Ex is a poof! And I am not just saying that because I want to hate him or because I want to curse him out because he is now my Ex but seriously, my Ex is a poof!!! The greatest one that is and ever will be.

He sent me a text the other day saying:
Yesterday was the lowest point in my life, I don’t know what is wrong with me, my brother and my ex suggested therapy, ive made contact today and should be starting on Wednesday, I’m sorry if I took that out on u but I was out of my mind, I felt suicidal and it disgust me. Again I apologise.

My translation:
Yesterday I was with my girlfriend, she gets insecure when I am on the phone with you, she suggested I cut off all connections with you. I had to cut off the phone when you called on Sunday, I’m sorry I had to send you that text telling you to lose my number, but there was no escape for me. I feel ashamed doing this, but right now, lying is my only way out. Please forgive me.

Y’all know the very funny thing? I was peacefully chatting to friends on yahoo chat when this clown, no, poof decided to send me a message asking where I was going to be for the weekend. I ask him why and apparently his niece goes to uni in the city I live and he was coming over to pick her to his house.

I told him I was busy and not sure if I would be visiting my folks. Anyway somehow he barricaded me into agreeing to see him on Sunday when he comes. I say whatever; to be honest I do not believe anything that comes out of his mouth. For all you know, that entire story was fabricated just to give him a reason to come round mine. I have not seen him for two years, not since we broke it off and was not looking forward to.

Anyway me knowing the liar he is now, I waited till like 9pm on Sunday to call him just to rob in that I knew all that was bull crap. This guy picks up the phone and starts talking like he had a padlock to his mouth. Ignoring all that I ask how come he didn’t come to pick his niece, he gives me a story about her being with his brother, after which the phone mysteriously went off. I call him back, voicemail. I just laughed because knowing the kind of person my Ex is, I knew what was happening so I was not surprised when 30mins after I got this text:

No offence but lose my number
I first laughed and thought this guy has to be on crack

I send a reply saying:
Its either u are chasing ur shadow or it is running after u
Whatever it is you are chained; you, your shadow and you web of lies
That is what is hunting you not me
Your #? Lost
It does me no good
Adieus.

This guy replies saying thanks

I send him another text saying he should thank himself, and that he needs to lie in any well he dug. Also telling him to bounce off my phone.

Am not even joking but I know this guy was definitely trying to prove to some girl that he is too hot and I am bugging him, telling him I love him too much to leave him.

This particular Ex of mine has drama, and seriously, this guy would lie that his mother is about to be beheaded just because. I can’t even go into details with him; if I do I swear you guys would tell me you have never come across anybody of his kind.

I called my friend and give her the gist, she laughed and couldn’t stop laughing, we are use to him and we all swore he was going to call back the next day.
Lo and behold he did with a different number. (he knew I was not going to pick my phone).
Anyways he goes Lighty are you home? Are you home alone? I need to talk to you; can I come see you please?

About coming to see me. Hiss* Why the hell do you wanna come see me for??? Look, a series of text messages was exchanged yesterday what do you wanna come see me for???

Note. This is someone I refused to see for two years ohh, I have not seen him for that long and all of a sudden he wants to know if I am home alone? Oh hell no! Who knows if he wants to come beat me up, abeg I fear first sha.

Anyway he goes I can’t really explain on the phone, I will send you a text, think about it and please call me after, I really need to see you.

Lol! That is the text he sent, the one at the start of the post.

I read it and put my phone back on the table hiss* Drama King. And by the way, the reason he is still lying, is because he claims he doesn’t have a girlfriend and still wants me back. What kind of foolishness. Hiss* again.

…….

On more random matters, I went to the movies with a friend; this guy has the loudest most annoying laugh. I mean he literarily laughs like Santa clause, as in: ho ho ho. Plus he laughs at everything not funny. Apparently he gets it and we don’t, in his own words. I was so pissed off ay. He was lucky I’d seen the movie before that day. Some 2hrs 30mins of bat man and the ho(ing) Santa clause. Phsew…

…moving on, how are you lovies doing??? Am goooooooooooood.

...Yesterday has Gone

Celestina sat on her front porch watching the rain, first it was pouring down then it starting to drop subtly that if you looked up to the skies it made like little drops of pearls all glittering to the glory of the beautiful afternoon.

Peace of mind was the only thing she lacked at this moment even the rain had failed to console her wounded heart. Being very artistic and interested in life, rain coming down had been a sign that all might go well today has opposed to the last twenty one days.

Normally she was one to object to the fact that even the worse of life’s turmoil could not be viewed positively, for her there was a light even in the darkest of life’s tunnels that would always lead you out. However Celestina sat on her porch today watching a pearl drop from heaven land on a leaf from the mango tree and then drop unto a snail that was happily carrying on with its day duties. The snail did not twitch and if it noticed a drop just landed on it, it paid no attention but carried about its business. Celestina suddenly wished she was that snail, she wished she could take no notice of everything going on but it was too hard to carry on like nothing was happening. The memories of it all flowed in her brain non- stop passing through every nock and cranny of it. She could have almost sworn that she constantly heard her terminated baby cry her name. It was easy for the doctor to try convincing her that it was only a foetus but Celestina knew it wasn’t just a foetus, it was her child.
She loved her husband and she had never felt guiltier killing his child but not to do so would have been the crime she committed, at the rate at which things are going, she has to save all her unborn from him. Either she keeps killing them or leave him alone which is out of the solution.

Her mind drifted to when she was seven in almost the same scenario, only then she was sitting on the porch of her father’s mansion on the lap of her mother watching the rain fall down. Her mother was talking to her, one of the tete a tete they shared once in awhile. She told her of how lucky she was to have Christ in her life, how glorious her future would be, and how brightly the sun shone upon her face making her so noticeable. She had prayed for Celestina, and told her that her blessings would be full and she would have a happy home with a good God fearing husband in the future. Celestina had sucked it all in muttering her Amen that was now defaulted to her lips whenever she heard words of prayer, saying it before even realising it had been said. A few days after that, Celestina’s mother; Agnes, died.

Celestina had married, she had achieved much more than she prayed for and better still, she had married one of the most gorgeous well to do men in the society. Ten years into her marriage she had discovered she was living with two people in the body of one but fear of the truth kept her in this miserable situation. Celestina watched her husband thinking he was un-noticed, sneak into their seven year old daughter’s room every now and then to have sexual intercourse with her, but she had said nothing to date. When her second daughter was seven Celestina could swear he started doing the same to her.

She has never brought herself bold enough to confront him partly because he was perfect in every other way during the day. So she stuck to her self-denial that a man so perfect, so God fearing and peaceful would never do such to his own children. Her heart burned for her girls but she was too into portraying the perfect family to save her own children. That was why twenty one days ago, Celestina walked into doctor Martin’s office for her scheduled termination, and this would become her first solution to resolving her agony. As it is, she already has three children and that would do. Lucky enough for her, the third child is a boy and she knows her husband hasn’t been going into his room. She promised herself that she would rather not bring any more children to the world than make more suffer in the hands of her husband.

The rain had stopped now and the earth smelt so beautifully of fresh rain, Celestina looked at her watch, it was only three o’clock and the driver would soon be back with the children from their different schools, a few more hours and her beloved husband would return too from work. She wiped dry her wet cheeks with the hem of her wrapper and retreated into the house to see if Kofo her maid had finished with lunch.

Looking around her on the wall inside the house, her thirteen year old daughter Anna’s portrait hung with a full bright smile that would light up any room, next to it was nine year old Nneka, light skinned with gap teeth and would have been extremely beautiful but for the huge forehead mounted upon her head. Nevertheless she could be regarded as perfection by any artist with a wild imagination. Junior at six was carbon copy of his father, it was already obvious that he would be tall and would well be the ladies dream in a few years to come was plastered with a goofy smile on his face, his portrait was next to Nneka’s. Celestina looked at her children, her joy and happiness and thought how their lives would have been perfect, how the story in her heart would have been different, how her smile in public would have been genuine not fallacious. She sighed and made her way into the kitchen her huge buttocks following closely behind her.

Illusion

I opened the door and threw my hands in the air out of frustration. I couldn’t believe it had lingered on this long. What is it that I have done to the world to deserve this? Why in God’s name wouldn’t it stop?

Lately all my questions seem rhetorical, I have suddenly become the only person on the surface of the earth, no; I have become the only person that knows suffering on the surface of the earth.
I opened the box of medicines I keep under my bed about the take my 8th tablet of ibuprofen for the sickness that I am imagining, imagining because I feel so much pain, only I don't know where it hurts but the urge to take the acclaimed strongest painkiller bounces on me like wild fire. Perhaps it would ease my arching imaginations. After taking the tablet I threw myself on the floor in exasperation, why the hell wouldn’t it stop? Am I the only one on the surface of the earth? Why am I punished so?

David and Ola ran into the room and Ola picked me up from the floor and balanced me on the bed. What the hell is wrong with you? What is making you crazy? Are you the first person to smoke marijuana? After all we all smoked it together and now you are behaving like a mad animal. I turned to her sharply; well I wouldn’t be behaving like a mad animal if the world was not against me would I? Ola took a deep breath and asked me to tell her where I got the stupid idea that the world was against me. I shook myself free from her and walked towards David who was standing by the door way. David why is the world against me?
Aghhh!!! I told you before; you are just paranoid, it happens when you smoke weed the first time.
No. no way I am paranoid, didn’t you watch the news? Are you to tell me you didn’t notice how the newscaster was looking at me? The newscaster had that disgusted look on her face like I was not human, like I don’t deserve to be alive. Um… maybe I don’t, is that why I feel so much pain? I feel pain all over.

Ola walked up to us. Hey! Have you been taking those pain killers again? This girl I have told you, before you know it you would drop dead and die if you don’t stop this madness. What is wrong with you sef? In short, let me lock that medicine box away. I looked at Ola and her head started getting smaller and smaller until she was left with the head of a roach on her neck with the two antennals pointing at me. I screamed and dropped to the floor.

I opened my eyes to see six pair of eyes and I screamed again out of fright but it was Gabriel, Ola, David, Chuka, Susan and Folake looking over me. Folake splashed cold water on my already wet face, from the look of things; she had been doing that for a while.
Susan held my hand; oh my God we thought you were going to die and we were so scared, thank God you are alive. Are you ok??? I said I was. I got up from the bed and went straight to the fridge because I needed food so badly and was really thirsty too. They all followed me into the kitchen, staring at me as if I were a ghost.

I looked back at them and asked how long I had been sleeping for and they all replied in chorus; 43 hours.

100% FICTION.

JUST the two of US... YOU and I

No! Come back here, yeah! Come on, now, look into my eyes. Tell me, what do you see?

I see the reflection of my beautiful appearance.

I am not going to look into your eyes to tell you that you are beautiful. I would look into your eyes and in your eyes I would see me, the beautiful me.


Earlier today in your tan linen shirt and white linen trousers with cute flat leather slippers just like I like, you pulled me into your arms, looked into my eyes, pulled me back and slapped me hard on the cheek. I bruised inside and tighten my eyelids afraid that blood would be what would run from my eyes down my chin. That, I cannot bare for you to see.

Yesterday it was calm, one of the calm times we share together, wrapped up in each other with you beautifully stroking my hair while we flick from Family guy to South park. Well it was that until you got a call from her. Your wife. I already knew not to make any sound because as it is you are meant to be in Beijing.

Last night while I thought we would make love but you my dear started slow and ended with me hurting all over with bruises all over my body. We started like this and I loved you for it. I loved that you are the animal you are but last night I understood why I was bruised, I know I shouldn’t have asked you if you wanted a glass of juice while you were on the phone. Truly I thought you were off the phone, I had no intention interrupting your call, I feel no jealousy for your wife, true saying, I feel sad for her because I know you treat her like you treat me but I know she can’t handle you. I don’t understand why she cannot just let you go, let me have you because I understand you better.

Today I look into your eyes and I tell you I am beautiful, that is what you want to hear, you say you love the combination of my green, purple and red face. You always said you loved the rainbow. I know my colours are not of the rainbow but honey, same difference. I wished so much that it could have been, we could try tonight darling.

Of course honey bun, we could try tonight but unfortunately I have to go back to my wife, she went into labour this morning, I think she is born so I need to go see what I have this time around. If she’s a girl, I would name her after you gorgeous and I would make her my little girl.



NB: This is 100% fictional. I love writing in first person. actually as it is, all my stories are in first person.

1 year on...THE CAGED BIRD.

One year on blog and I still have not done what I came here for. I have so much bubbling up in me, so many things bottled up. I keep having rants that don’t mean a thing but it’s all fantastic still. Everything’s lesson learned.

Blogville especially has found a way to bring out the truth in people. That which you thought you could hide in pseudonyms alas still shows in between the lines of your words.

Blog for me has been a place where I can be totally free to say anything I really want to say having selfless fun in the process. I try so hard never to get serious on here because people already refer to me has their mother. Funny I know, bottom line in the outside world I am too serious. I have just a few friends that I am really selfless with. But hiding behind the screen and keyboard makes it easy for every one to bring out the silliness in them.

What an irony that we all started on blogger to be free but it has proved to be the other way round. Freedom is so tight in here that it becomes like an airless cage we all struggle to breath in.

What a shame that people you interact with on a friendly fondly level come back as anonymous to bite you in the bum. Now every one of us look behind our shoulders before we write anything down. We all pretend we don’t really care what people think of us but as soon we put our fingers on the keys to type the table turns. The next thing on your mind is wondering which one of these people would come back as an anonymous to spite you. Freedom on blogville is like cinema in prison. Impossible.
Though there is one thing we all cannot bring ourselves to admit, we all refuse to believe that these people we refer to as anonymous are simply bloggers amongst us. Aint it funny? Oh how broken hearted some of us would be if one day blogger broke down and alas the veil hiding all the anonymous is revealed, am sure the names that would come out would be more painful than surprising. It just goes further to say that there are friends and there are a lot of people who claim to be so, that is basic living.

I am thankful because no matter what it is that happens I would rather be quiet than not be true to myself. I have learned so much through the months I have spent on here.

1. You choose who you want to be; you can either be yourself or live someone else's life.
2. Freedom lies within you: you choose to be true to yourself or live for others.
3. Wherever you go, people are all the same: vindictive, spiteful and quick to judge.

This does not depict the fact that there are no good true people, I know a lot of people are really wonderful and beautiful but even amongst roses you have thorns.

Through the months, I have seen how creative people carefully construct their deliveries, how extremely jobless some people can be and how shallow minded people write anonymously. What ever cannot be written in pseudonym is not worth writing at all. (isn't that such an irony as the two live under the same roof?)

However so far, I’ve had smiles, laughs, fun times like the blogville idol (even though sey una no vote for me. I still dey vex sha but in the spirit of honesty, y'all are forgiven) and cries (yes cries! Dear Seun made me cry so hard) on blogville. It has been wonderful to read what people write.

To everyone who have remained true to self. It’s an honour to come in contact with you at all.
To all those who are fonies; are you sure that part is where you want to be?
To the anonymous who think being anonymous make you invincible; that is just clowny and you just beat yourself in your own game because writing in pseudonyms is anonymous in itself.


And so one year on and I cannot bring myself to write what I truly came here for because unconsciously I have become a caged bird.

BLOGVILLE IDOL 2008

WELL ITS HERE, AND LOOK HOW MUCH FUN WE ARE HAVING ALREADY.

From Abbie's mind blowing voice to 30+'s fantastic intro.

This is the unmissable.

In between all the love. Hey! don't forget to vote Lighty.

Lol!


*************************************************************************************
SO I MADE IT TO THE 2ND ROUND WITH SIX VOTES. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa una no do well oh. Come on people, upon all the charity work i did for all of you, you still passed lighty by???

For those of you who voted, i really appreciate your love. I know it was not clear enough to hear me, but your loyalty to me i cherish. Others who didnt vote, well do not wallow in your guilt, here comes another chance for you to do so. In the morning, naija songs are up and hopefully you would hear me clearly this time round and do wot good people do, VOTE!!!

thanks every1, it has been so much fun so far, and it continues.

N.B: to vote for lighty, how do you want it? In cash or labour? (kishi dey ooo, dont watch that and i cook and clean goooooooooood, as in finger liking stuvvs and spotless apartments). So however we want to make this happen, by force and fire, e go shele. lol!

luv y'all I really do. peace.

*************************************************************************************
For me dear people it is game over. I really appreciate you booting my out oh, y'all did very well, I am happy I did not start the cleaning of houses yet and to those of you who took my money, can I have my money back please? The money was for a purpose; that I win blogville idol, that purpose did not come to pass. So as I carry out my luggage, I need my money for transport. oya give mi my monie.

with all said and done it was mad fun while it lasted. Now am happy the got the promotion of being a judge. he he he he.

ERUPTION

Deeper, deeper, deeper arghhhh ! Fill me up babbbbbbbbbbbby. Ummm. Yeahhh. I feel your hardness deep inside of me, your, brick body pressing against my soft succulent supple breast, your sweat smoothing our bodies in this celebration of our sexual connection. I have wanted you and you me. And what a blissful wait it had been. Now am here moaning endlessly under your hardness.

You had called me telling me you were coming over just like you always do. You would come over and we would sit in front of the fire, read erotic poetry while feeding each other ice cream and cakes with soft music playing in the background. It had become a ritual like somehow without saying a word for 2months we were carefully and tactically nursing our sexual beast. Feeding it with thick raw sexual fantasies, harshly teasing and driving it to an insane territory where it cannot be contained no more.

Today you came along and just in the middle of our ritual we exploded simultaneously, as if possessed you poured the ice cream down my neck instead of my throat, and in the process tore open my shirt where my ever bouncy breasts were tugging to be freed. My breasts bounced at the intensity and like a command by them you slowly took one of them into your mouth; the left one, a mouth full of it and started to make a circular rotation on my hard erect nipples with your tongue. I tilt my head backwards and make a loud ah sound whilst grabbing hold of your head. You lift up your head and meet my eyes with your hot passion longing eyes, moved closer and engulfed my lips with your thick pillow soft lips. We kiss like we would devour our lips and possibly tear them into shreds. Slowly and ever so passionately you raise up both my legs, your lips still full on mine.

Feet on the ground, knees up, your hand makes its way to my between and at the first contact with my cunt I take a deep breath, you partition my panties and glide a finger into my hole, sliding it in and out in a circular motion. Now am gasping for breath in sweet ecstasy and you respond by sliding two fingers in, pushing them in and out of my honey jar of love. At this point my honey is flowing freely and I beg for you to step into my chambers. Ignoring my plea you pull me up, turn me around unto all fours take off my skirt and pull down my panties. You spread my leg apart and bury your head into my sweet goodness; I moan louder now, head up facing the roof while you eat me out like a hot piece of cake. Your tongue licking my free flowing juices, and sucking me out as if sucking on oranges. Come to think of it, I thought you would suck me into a desert.

You grab my rounded ass and squeeze them, then you slap both cheeks tenderly so they bounce in crazy excitement. You bury your head back into my jar and this time I explode in hot bliss into your mouth, my liquid free flowing and you seeming to love it. I look over my shoulder to meet your eyes, my eyes telling you how sexually savvy you are. I come over to you and take your erect hardness into my hands rubbing it gently and kissing you softly on the lips. You respond breathlessly and motion me down. I peck the tip of your manhood allowing myself build a rapport with it then open my mouth wide enough to accommodate your fullness. With you in my mouth I tighten my lips on your hardness and slid in and out, when I get to the cap of your hardness, I form the habit of caressing it with my tongue then take you full in my month again, slide down, come back up and caress the cap in with my tongue.

You cannot take it anymore so you pick me up and settle me on your hardness, my legs tight around your waist. You back me up the wall and drive me in that position deeply thrusting. I moan and whisper softly in your ears; deeper, deeper, deeper arghhhh! Fill me up babbbbbbbbbbbby. I hear a loud disturbing sound preventing me from concentrating and pulling me away from you. I open my eyes, look at my alarm. Damn! Am late for work. I dash into the bathroom wash up, dress up and rush out the house again for the third time this week.

AT WORK

Oh this ish is funny i have to share. Am here still at work by the way and am so sorry am hardly even on blogville not to talk of updating. Am too busy, am getting a transfer to another city so i need too much money to move and all that. ummm! the way i perambulate this UK sef! u'll think my father owns the land. i am very well acquitted with 8 cities that is i can take you on a tour in those cities. Dont even ask how many i have visited instead ask how many i haven't visited. ok ok maybe datz exaggerated but u get the gist.

so baroque!!! that reward am i eligible??? (YES? NO? i mean, i found me, don't that count?)

To my 5mins ago gist: was here sitting at my desk tending to customers when this cute sounding bloke comes on, am sure the guy is fit too, from his voice i could tell.

profile
age; 26
occupation: mortgage broker (ummm...)
vehicle (BMW),value (£64,000). (wow! 4 his age the guy is pimping honest).

so i was here flirting my way to his pocket sounding in my sexiest voice and all and believe me, we bonded. well. lol! (i love his pocket and his pocket love me back. ha ha).
only 4 bloke to ask for my name again coz he didnt get it initially.
i tell him Lighty.
bloke: lighty?
me: yeah lighty, still on sexy voice mode.
bloke: oh! my dog's called Lighty.
me: face red, not happy, not amused, not having it. at all.

say i manage my way to bloke's pocket, what are the chances of calling your girl the same name as your dog??? arghh!!! thatz awful.

bloke senses my dissaproval and goes on to say; but 'he's a very beautiful dog and am sure if you are half as beautiful as he is you are a very lucky lady.
argggggggggggggggghhh!!! STOP right there, but i didnt say that tho.
To be honest anyone in his situation would be short of what to say, so i let him off, at least he tried.
we'll be speaking on wednesday, lets see if my surname would be his gold fish's name this time around.
but he sounded real cute tho and for his pocket Lighty can be his zoo's name for all i care.
lolllllllllllllllllll!!!
love u all. fingers crossed i'ld be rolling blogville in no time (i beg u give me 2weeks and u'ld mos def chase me off).

~kisses my pretty pebbles. muah~

The beginning of the End.

Looks like there has been confusion somewhere, somehow. Just the other day, I was asleep, only to be woken with a touch light full on my face and flashing snappy lights. Ciara, Ciara, someone’s voice I can’t quite make out was screaming from behind the touch light man. I was stunned as to what was going on around me, sat up straight and opened my eyes wide to look around me. Then something changed, I could see smiley faces turn quickly into angry faces. Someone else spoke with anger in her voice. What? It’s not Ciara?


Let me answer that question; No! It’s not Ciara. Ciara use to be a MAN. Now Lighty? Never a man, not a man, never would be a MAN. If you don’t know; Lighty is too Beautiful a woman to be a MAN. Now you know.

This is for those of you still asking that horrible question about my last post. Now you have it. The post is a biography of a friend. Do you have any idea how many times I have had to say that over? Its all love though, I understand most people’s dreams would be shattered if I were to be a MAN and so I can happily say to you; your dreams are intact.

Label: THE ROLLERCOASTER OF AN ALLEGED PLAYER, not lighty’s story, but lighty’s friend’s story that Lighty writes, now get with the program, all clear? Lets move on.

To our feature presentation...



I went back to Steven’s house like I use to and like I said; started the gaming with the new maid. Now this one, this one was hot. I often wondered how she became a maid and to me I saw her getting married one day to some rich bloke that would find her hard to resist but before all that, I was happy preparing his bride for him.

She had no problem with playing our games, I remember how I baptized her with the rules, it was on a Monday evening that day and Steven’s parents were not home. It was a bit difficult at first because after Steven’s mum saw what happened with the me and the other maid, she hired a boy and then decided to take up a girl after some time. So now there were two of them, the boy and the girl and it was mad difficult getting her alone without the boy appearing from somewhere. If you ask me, I would tell you he had the hots for her too.

On this particular day, I guess the boy was busy having a chat with the guard; gate front. The girl was in the kitchen and when I entered she asked if I would like to have something to eat as the food was ready to be served. Nervously I walked up behind her and just stood there, she not knowing what to do just froze and asked why I was standing so close. I responded by sliding my hands under her top, settled it on her firm breasts and squeezed tightly. She did not make a sound, so I guess she wanted it to. I told her to meet me round the back in five. She came around the back in exactly five minutes and the game was on. It was a wild time round that back but ten minutes into it that stupid boy (the butler) came round and just stood over us staring. Caught the second time??? This time I just zipped up my jeans and walked away.


The boy came into the house when I was playing Atari (remember Atari????) with my friend and kept looking at me. This time I didn’t tell Steven what happened, I was tired of getting caught. So I swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on what I was doing. When I could not take it anymore I stood up and walked towards the kitchen and told the boy to come with me. He followed and just then I warned him never to tell a soul of what he saw. He promised not to and from that day he became my look out boy. His way of getting money from me, I didn’t complain.

Things were rosy, I was having free time with the hottie without the fear of being caught just before this happened.

On one of this hottie day, I had sorted out the boy, set up the place, hottie was waiting for me in her room, I went into the room and about to climb on hottie when I heard a male voice that wasn’t the boy’s . My heart was too heavy this time around, where the hell did the boy go? What happened to my look out? It was not Steven, or Steven’s dad, it was Steven’s uncle. He told me to get off the girl and make my way out, shutting the door behind me. I ran out nervously only for me to hear cries from the inside. The maid was screaming and shouting No… in between loud sobs. It dawned on me that I was witnessing a rape situation so I started for the locked door and started banging on it shouting for him to stop and leave her alone. He seemed to go on forever, that made me start to cry, I couldn’t believe I was crying. Steven was not home this particular day. I could not go out for help because I was attached to the situation I just sat on the floor and cried out of guilt. After Steven’s uncle finished with the maid, the boy went in and continued what that foolish uncle started. All I could hear was sobs and I couldn’t do a thing about it.

That day I went home and promised never to go to Steven’s house. I had started something I had no idea how would end, I had caused that girl’s life to be miserable and I hate thinking about it. A month later there was chaos in Steven’s house. It turned out the maid was pregnant. Alas my ordeal was just about to begin, first I couldn’t live with myself, and now the maid was pregnant?

I just kept thinking; would I be the father? Possibly not, I always used a condom, but you just never know. Was it the stupid boy? I doubt if after that day he slept with her but I decided against asking him the question. Steven had traveled abroad and there was no one to give me the low down of what exactly was happening. It turned out that the uncle was responsible and like I dreaded, he had gone back for more and more after that day.

The baby was aborted but Steven’s family had a lot of making up to do to the girl, she lived in the house with them as an adopted child, went to university and married four years ago. I relocated to London till this very day. No one knows about my dealings with the maid but the people who already knew. I only hope her past has not crept into her future. I wish for her the best.

So that’s the maid’s life there, mine continued from where it stopped with too much drama for one person.

Till I return;
Save my spot.
~Peace~

SPOT LIGHT

It had been sometime now since dad died and although things were not exactly back to normal, we took it one step at a time. I spent most times with my best friend Steven, you know the childhood friend you have in your neighbourhood, the one that tend to live right opposite your house? Yeah! Steven was a friend of the sort, he lived right opposite my house and due to the fact our age ranged the same, we followed one another round the neighbourhood causing mischief. Amongst our many mischievous acts is the games we played with Steven’s maids, one time we were so into one of his maids that we took turns playing with her on occasion. I cant tell you why but it’s just something we did.

At the age of sixteen, guys already know what sex is, we have the continuous urge of fulfilling our sexual appetites but as everyone knows, at that age girls are not ready at least during my time. I can’t talk for girls of today. Today even at the age of 10-11 girls have become sexually active.
So Steven and I needed to quench this fire burning inside of us, or in the case between our thighs and our first stops were with his maids. I spent most of my time having sleepovers at Steven’s house so that wasn’t much of a mission to accomplish. During the day, we spent our time pampering the maid, buying her all sorts like the likes of ‘suya’ (grill steak, garnished and spicy) and cold drinks just to secure our night ventures with her of which she didn’t have a problem fulfilling anyway. This particular maid was about 5-7years older than we were and to be honest, she enjoyed it. Everybody was happy.

On one of our many quests, I ventured to quench my inner fire and decided to have one of my many sleepovers. Steven and I share his room so we agreed on who was to go to the maid first and agreed it to be me as I was horny as a nut basket. I made my way down the stairs, past the corridors and into the maid’s bedroom where she was waiting. I started by caressing her body, rubbing all the succulent pasts I was so eager to touch all through the day, she responded with moans on every contact my fingers made with her body and I was becoming more and more hard for her, almost ready to explode. I pulled her pants down, brought out my private, slide into her juicy hole and the lights came on.

This annoyed me so much and my first thought was of Steven’s inability to maintain patience until I had conquered my quest. I turned with burning eyes towards the now opened door to see Steven’s mum, my private went completely flat and my heart right about jumped into my opened mouth. Slowly I got off the maid, pulled up my trousers and made it to the door. She gave way for me to walk by but asked why I was in the room. I never knew I was a natural stutterer until that day because I stumbled upon my every word so freely you would think there was a Guinness book of record contest on.

I lied that I was going to find the bathroom and mistook the maid’s room for the bathroom because I was half asleep and hastened my steps to Steven’s room. Soon as I got there, Steven stood up and almost started heading for the door when I pulled him back and told him of my misfortune, which made him retrace his steps.

The next day I went back home and trembled at the sound of my name everytime it came out of my mother’s lips but surprising as it is Steven’s mother never let my mum know, however I refused to go back to that house for what seemed like eternity.

I got to know from Steven that his mother told him about what she had seen and he acted as surprised and disappointed as he could manage but in the process convinced her not to tell my mum. When I finally started going back to Steven’s house I must say that we continued what we started with the new maid only this time something changed, something worse than being caught, something that put a capital STOP to my act. No! I didn’t get her pregnant and No! no disease was contacted and Yes! I was fully protected.

Till I return;
~Peace~

6 unspectacular quirks

Well in my last post I said I was going to write from the rollercoaster of an alleged player, blame JINTA for this cause he decided to tag me. Just when I thought finally I’ve escaped tagging Jinta appeared and played a fast one.

Regular visitors am sure u must have thought u came the wrong way when u appeared on my blog, different template and totally different kind of song playing and the whole dark angel and naked lady silhouette. I really cannot explain it too. I know that lollipop song is one that caught me off guard. I never ever, ever, listen to lil’wayne. I have no idea about any of his other songs but my friend was complaining of how her housemate is using the lollipop song to taunt her and why she doesn’t know what the hype about lollipop is. She came to me the next day and was singing lollipop. Am thinking ok wot happened to lollipop taunting you? She went further to say ‘that song is catchy menh’ am like if you say so. I went home got the song on my phone, listened to it once, said ok, listened to it the second time and I think the beat got to me. It was on repeat all through yesterday. There you have it. To listen to my regulars, just skip it if you’re not a fan. Better still put ur respective PCs on mute.
Right! Let’s get to this

The rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you - Jinta
2. Mention the rules in your blog – here they are. Yeahhhh this one. Arhh wot u r like????
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours – six, not more. Let me think, do I have up to six??? We’ll see about that.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them – would do, hopefully they have not been tagged yet.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged – ok ok, can I breathe now? Gosh!

1. Unspectacular quirk…. I see all my results in my dream. In full detail too. Whether good or bad. This often happens 2weeks before exam or before results.

2. Be sure I would have a crush on you if I ever find out you have a crush on me even if I have never noticed you before. Guaranteed I’ll start seeing you in a different light. But please don’t make the mistake of taking the crush further because the moment you come up to admit it face-to-face. The crush in me dies. Aint that weird???

3. I cannot sleep at night without having a cup of tea or at least a hot drink, if I don’t I better have a huge jug of water by my bed side; because I am sure to cough throughout the night. Literally cough through the night. Arrghh! Sometimes it really is frustrating, honest.

4. I cannot keep a malice; not because I am a good person or I am nice or anything, cause honestly I am not that nice believe me. I don’t keep malice because; wait for it; I am too proud to keep a malice. I’ll explain myself; I don’t think anyone is worth my time enough to keep me angry. I know, I know, that is really horrible of me to say but it is true. That's exactly how I feel. Am sorry, really, I am.

5. I have a tasteless habit of not keeping in contact with family. I haven’t spoken to 2 of my brothers in like 3weeks, I know you may think 3weeks is not that bad, but they call me almost everyday, not exaggerating. I miss the calls, cause I am either sleeping, or at work, or in the bathroom. And I haven’t picked up my phone to even ring back to say I saw your missed calls. I have had the intention to get a phone card since last week but the hours I live now are weird. I get to sleep at 7am in the morning cos all night I am doing school work or my final project.

6. I often think about myself in the future with my grandchildren, not my children, never my children, always my grandchildren. I don’t know why, I don’t even know who sits down to fantasize about their kids, let alone their grandkids. Boy! I amaze myself sometimes.

And there you have it, I'll be back since I seem to be on blogville so much these days, wonder why.

I tag jaja, atutupoyoyo, bumight, la reine, jaycee, and pink-satin


Don't know wot happened to my lollipop song but here's the video, u can knock urselves out.

Stuck in middle of my crossroad.

Don’t y’all find the word who’s your daddy during sex utterly disturbing? Isn’t it the sickest ish you ever heard in your life? For starters why would I want to have sex with my daddy, second why should I picture my daddy having sex with me when u are pulling my hair in hot xtacy??? All I can say is y’all have a nasty nasty mind. Lol! (for the randomness).

Sure u’re wondering what came about this mind, I miss love. Damn! I haven’t been in love for what seem like 2years now. HELP!!!!! Am frigging lonely. I never thought ill ever say this, but there you have it, I am shouting it, LIGHTY IS FRIGGING LONELY.

I can’t be bothered to start a relationship with the people asking. They are not my cup of tea, and even loneliness would not claim the better part of me. Can u imagine I almost entered into a long distance relationship because of loneliness? I am talking Nigeria- England kind of relationship. Nahhh menh! Ern ern.

I know you would conveniently say it is not about the distance but the person. Yeah yeah yeah wotever. It is so about the distance, mehn I can’t. Am sorry.

The guy in question is good looking though, got his own business and all and oh so dresses to impress. But along with all this comes his arrogance. That I know am fly and I know you know kind of arrogance. That is one absolute turnoff mehn. I can’t deal with that. But to be fair he’s been on my case for what seem like 4years now though. He was in my Uni before he finished and transported himself to naija to settle into family business. Obviously when he was on my case I had a boyfriend and didn’t even give him the time of day, with his fly self and huge arrogance lol! After I broke it off with my ex. His plea was very much intense and I actually considered a relationship with him then the goat picked himself up and did a marathon all the way to Nigeria. Now he’s back to hunt me again. This time he wants me and long distance. That is 2marks down for the guy. Arrogance and distance.
On the other hand Lighty is in like with someone else. Someone that I don’t think is in like with me though. Now isn’t that a damn shame??? Argh! Life is so funny.

This person I talk to a lot of the time, almost everyday and have shared a few ‘fun’ times with too. Only for him to turn around to say am his good friend. F good friends. The funny thing is in as much as I have a lot of pride and ego. I just can’t get this person off my head. Note; he just might be reading this and I really don’t give a F if he is. I believe my blog is made for my mind and even He wouldn’t stop me from saying exactly what I want.

As I was saying, I really like this person that may be reading this post but does not like me in the way I want, I can’t stop myself from liking him still. Even though I have never told him this, I expect he knows I do.

Damn! I need to fall in love, and I think he is holding me back because 1) I cant like 2 people at the same time, I have a problem doing that and ever since I started rolling round this guy i have refused to like any1 else. 2) I have missed out on 2 of what I presume would have been good relationships.

I am beginning to think maybe I really don’t like him that much, and maybe because I am still trying to figure out why he does not feel a certain way about me, I am so attached to him. So until I get to the bottom of it I am going to be chained to Him. Honestly, sometimes I think I punish myself sef. Thing is I have never had any1 I am close to not like me in that way. I guess there is a start for everything or should I say welcome to the real world Lighty, alas! the world doesn’t revolve round you. Damn! That hurts. Lol.

His excuse is he is not ready for a relationship; my explanation for this is I am not his type of person. But my question is why all this then? I think the phone conversations and visiting should stop because he is really getting in the way of what I am feeling.

I also believe that no matter what, if anyone comes across their kind of person, they would be ready regardless or what do y’all think.

So here I am, stuck in the middle, cant move forward, not ready to pull back, giving guys a hard time and lonely as hell. Damn! Am lonely.

P.S. if you are reading, I really don’t give a shit. I still like you anyway. I have never said this to you before, so there you have it. Prove is prove. Lol!

My next post would be from: THE ROLLERCOASTER OF AN ALLEGED PLAYER. stay tuned.

Unacceptable Ordeal

Sad story, every time I remember it, it chips the top left corner of my heart. Lol.

Here is the gist.

I think there was something about me in high school that made people automatically think the worst of me. I swear then teachers look at me and just want to give me a whipping. Why? Cause as far as they were concerned I was bad. Not like I made it easy on my self though, my school skirt was short and tight, my school shoes were always high but I was mighty good and clever. I only wish they gave themselves time out to know me before head-on judging me.

An incident occurred one day. A terrible, terrible one. It was a week after mid-term break of my last year in high school. My friends had spent the short holiday in my home but we decided to stay a week longer just so we didn’t have to sneak out of school to attend a party we were dying to attend. It was either staying home the extra week or not going to the party at all. Sneaking out of school was one thing I never saw myself doing even though I had friends who went clubbing frequently and didn’t seem to have a problem with sneaking out. I on the other hand was extremely grounded and too deciplined for all that.

Getting to school there was a meeting in the main hall of for final year students and all the teachers and soldiers (in case u do not know, I went to a military high school) seem to be there. Unfortunately one of the girls (C) that went home with me had a brother in the same year, the other (L)’s father was a teacher. Apparently, L told her father she was spending the holidays at C’s house because L and I lived in the same city, it would have been pointless saying she was coming to mine. Now because C’s bother arrived school a week before C and L, it was chaos in school with L’s father worried has to where his daughter had spent the mid-term break. So as soon as we arrived, there were messages waiting.

We were summoned to the teachers department by my English teacher, and she took it upon herself to do the questioning. At some point during the holidays, she had waved at me from a moving car while I was with a friend in front of my friend’s house. At another point, she had walked passed my house with me standing in front of the gate with my bothers and 3 of my bothers’ friends (six guys in total) and we had a little chat on how the holiday was going.

Would you believe the heifer after this took it on herself to say she had seen me with my friend wearing a micro- mini skirt and an extreme low cut top? What a huge lie. I was bewildered because 1) I didn’t have a micro mini skirt and even if I did I was never going to wear it to my friend’s house, for her father is a pastor and they don’t even wear trousers in that house, let alone mini skirts. 2). my skirt was below knee length and my top covered every inch of my upper body. 3) I had no idea why on earth she was lying.

The idiot didn’t stop there? She went on to say I was prostituting and that she had seen me with guys in front of a house, she said there were about 11 guys. At this point I was weak. I actually spoke, told her that she knew they were six guys and that half of them were my brothers. This woman went further to say she knew my brothers but that on the day, none of them was there.
She said she knew I had a boyfriend and she wants me to give his name. This was before I had a boyfriend (B) and prior to B I had never been in any form or sort of relationship at all. So I was oblivious to what she was saying. She started whipping me and slapping my cheeks telling me to give her my boyfriend’s name. I told her except she wants me to make up a name, I had no boyfriend.

As her mission was not yet accomplished, she looked around and told the other teachers that it was such a shame I didn’t have a boyfriend, what a pity that in all the guys that use me, none of them was happy enough to make me his girlfriend. The others opened their mouths and one of them said ‘oh my God; so u mean they use u and dump u?’ u wouldn’t believe what happened next. All the female teachers started to cry, they said they were crying for me and asking why a beautiful intelligent girl like me let men take advantage of me like that? They cried because they said the world is such a cruel, cruel place. They cried because they said they wonder how my future was going to turn out with me being a disaster at such a tender age. So I decided to break down and cry with them. I cried because I wanted God to answer my prayers of not prospering any of them in life. I cried because I could see them bear pain all through their remaining years in life. I cried because all their daughters would be used and dumped in the future.

After an hour of interrogation and serious tears in the teachers department, they let me go and do u know that through all of this no one paid attention to L and C? Absolutely unbelievable.
It turned out that L’s father didn’t have a problem with her spending time at my house or coming into school a week late, because there was no teaching that week for some strange reason. Although he was angry with her for not letting him know and getting him worried.

After the ordeal, that stupid English teacher had the audacity to enter me into a nationwide poetry competition. Idiot, idiot, stupid idiot. I gave her the nastiest piece of art imaginable; I just couldn’t be bothered with. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about myself. Too bad.

I don’t think I can ever forget that day of my life, my meeting with a bunch of useless haggard looking fools.

When a good girl goes bad. It might be for a season not forever.

I wasn’t lonely, nor heartbroken, nor insecure. I was angry, very annoyed and even though I don’t believe cheating was the way forward it in some way calmed me down.
I know what you all thinking, how could cheating calm me down? It subdued my anger in some very funny way. But you know what they say right? Once you cheat with some person you end up finding yourself in the same position with that person.

Yes I had a boyfriend, yes I loved him pieces, yes I was very able to separate my cheating life from my loved up relationship, and yes I find it weird myself.
Yes he was in a relationship, yes he knew I was in one too, yes we shared each other’s relationship problems, yes we were mighty good friends, yes his girlfriend knew me; in actual fact she grew to love me even though she met me through her boyfriend.

Of course I felt guilty, guilty with the fact this girl trusted me, and angry with the guy for cheating on someone you say you love so much.
I asked him constantly why he was cheating, and he had no valuable response, only that he was some what attracted to me. I asked him if he was aware I didn’t see him in that light; if he knew I would not leave my boyfriend to be with him, if he knew that even if he decided to leave his girlfriend it wouldn’t be to start a relationship with me.

He went crazy, I asked him why he was so crazy, he told me I cut him deep, he told me he just couldn’t believe I had no feelings for him on that level. I told him it might sound harsh but I didn’t. I told him I see him as a brother, but with the occasional filling up when necessary. He told me I was talking crazy, I told him I really didn’t care if I was. It was what it was.

I hung out with his girl whenever she was in town, we went shopping together, theatres, cinemas and occasional eat ins’. He introduced me as his kid sister; I shook my head and called him a bastard in my mind. I hated him for doing this to her. I felt disgusted for betraying her so.

My boyfriend was acting dumb, working all the time, snapping every now and then constantly, constantly got jealous whenever I told him I was with friends. He would go into a rage and feel sorry all at once and blamed it on the hard work and how he had no life but I was enjoying mine. Well that aint my fault is it? I sincerely believed he sensed I was cheating, knew something was going on but just could not put his finger on it. Why? I constantly answered his calls, I showed nothing but love because I genuily loved him anyway. If he called me 18 times a day, I pick up 18 times a day regardless. The other guy was jealous, I couldn’t understand why. I mean that wasn’t the plan, well there was no plan.

I met guy through a friend, he just moved into my town for educational purposes, I thought him attractive, it was in his house. My friend said she was going visiting a friend and said to tag along. There were his other friends too, we had a steamy conversation about relationships, they thought me clever, I was youngest in the group and they wouldn’t believe my age. We all became friends, with all of them but him, I was closer too. We started visiting each other, we laughed togehter, we listened to music together, we had the same taste in music, he was witty, he was handsome but I didn’t see me with him though. He wasn’t for me at all.

I had not spoken to my boyfriend for 2days he calls me and starts with a non-chalant attitude, and his constant nagging and beating around the bush kind of ish. Guy invited me to his place for sleep over, guy has been asking me for this in the last week but I turned him down. Why did I do that? He slept at mine? Just the other day guy and I were having a sleep over at mine when I had one steamy argument with my boyfriend, it ended with me crying into guy’s cuddle and we slept off. So on this day guy asked for me to have a sleep over at his I couldn’t turn it down, I thought that’s what friendship’s for, I had to return the now regular sleep overs guy bestowed on me.

I was in guys’ house, we watched a movie, we ordered Chinese, we dimmed the lights, there was soft music playing, I turned my back, I was horny, I was mad cos I was horny, I was mad at my boyfriend cos if not for his stupid acts I would not have run into guy’s arms, I was mad cos I needed guy to touch me so bad and angry because I felt that way. Guy touched me, and waited, I did not resist. First it were my thighs, then my tummy, then my left breast, then tightens my left nipples in between his fingers, I liked it and that was all it took.

So guy and I started this, but we never talked about it, it was great, I loved to tease, he liked the chase, so it was mad, he would chase for thirty minutes sometimes before I would eventually give in, I knew I was gonna give in, I loved it when he begged for it, but I loved my boyfriend more and I blamed him for this.

So now guy wanted feelings attached, that I couldn’t do, I didn’t even bother trying, I wanted it to go no where, I wanted my boyfriend to come to his senses, I never talked about me and guy, except to my best friend, I told myself I wasn't doing anything with guy, I convinced myself nothing ever happened, I believed it, I guess that was how I managed to pull it off. It was getting too crazy for me, the sex was hot like fire, more like fireworks, no more like volcano eruptions.

Guy seemed like he was genuinely falling for me, he loved to take pictures of me, he was obsessed with me, his girlfriend got angry with him one day, and told him to delete all my pictures off his laptop, her reason; he had more pictures of me than her, I guess that’s a good enough reason. I stopped answering guys calls, I stopped seeing guy, I was more concerned with her than him, I didn’t want to hurt her, cos I know how it’ll be if someone tried to take my man from me, more so, I didn’t even want her man.

Guy went crazy, I ignored him, He came knocking on my door, I didn’t open, he came another time at 2.30am to knock on my door, still I ignored him, I wasn’t going to have anything to do with him. Then my boyfriend started cheating, female intuition, so I let guy back into my world just for payback. Was on it with guy when I confronted my boyfriend, I was with guy when I got my boyfriend to confess, still was with guy when I left my boyfriend, in fact I was with guy until guy left town. Then I deleted every contact I had with guy. I wished guy a happy life.

I chatted with guy the other day he told me to send my pictures; I said no. He asked if I’ve changed my number; I said yes. He asked if he could have my new number; I said no. I asked him when he was to get married; he didn’t respond. He said he hated it when I talked about that part of his life; I said well it is your life what you gonna do? He said if I would take him he would break up his relationship; I said I wouldn’t. He asked if I hated him that much; I said I didn’t hate him and I had to go. Msn; logged off 2:35am 06.04.06. I am never cheating again.

AND so.. IT began.

Dad has ten kids, a total of five women, my mum, the last and the legal one. You see the rest of the women, call them concubines. The first had five boys, the second had a boy and a girl, the third had a boy, forth one a girl, and my mother had me.
As far as I can remember, mum was the only wife and the only one who lived in our house with all the kids. We grew up in a twin duplet with my dad and his twin brother who has eleven kids combined with my nine siblings.

It happened on a Sunday, dad was to go to his farm filled with animals of all kinds and aside from his farm he also had a sculpturing company he managed with his brother. My mum, sister and nephew were to go with him. I had just come for the holidays having always been in boarding school, I remember it was the Easter break. We set off to the farm an hour from home, I was thirteen. Getting there the state of the farm was a sight and dad was not happy, the grasses over grown with weed everywhere. Dad decided to take the job upon him to clear up the place because he was so angry the workers had not done their job. I, excited to do the job with dad joined in but dad said not to bother he would do it himself, his excuse; I was too young. Twenty minutes into the job, he started complaining of a headache and my mum told him to take a seat but he felt worse and we had to leave, he got cranky and started to argue with mum and whenever this happens I cry making this day no different. We got home watched the football match that was on and went to bed.

That was the last I saw of dad that day. I woke up the following morning to go see dad but the door was locked I went round the back to peek through his windows but saw no one except red stains all over dad’s white vest hanging on the door handle so I ran to my siblings to ask what had happened and if they had seen dad and mum but no one had.
Mum came home around mid-day to get dad a change of clothes apparently he had been coughing blood all night however unfortunately I couldn’t visit dad at the hospital because I was due to go back to boarding school.

It was on a bright Sunday after, day of good food in school, jollof rice and the rest. Yummy I was looking forward, skipping away to the dinner hall with friends a can of sardine in my hand, when someone ran up with news that my family was waiting for me at my guardian’s house, a surprise to me as I wasn’t expecting anybody so soon having barely just left home a week ago, I decided to think the worst. Getting to my guardian's house I saw her outside her door talking to one of my uncles and in the process wiping what I thought was tears off her eyes as I approach she composed herself like it was nothing. My uncle made me relieved by saying I was to go home for a thanksgiving for dad’s recovery, I was told to pack up my school uniform because I was coming back to school the following morning. Excited as I was, I gave the can of sardine I was holding to a friend.

In the car were two of my cousins, Remi whose school was thirty minutes away from mine and Tola her older sister. Remi told me she had seen Tola cut up a black string attached to her wrist when she was approaching, a traditional form of mourning. I thought to myself what I would do if dad were to be dead, I thought I would cry my eyes out but there was a voice that said to me I would have to take it as a man. The thought quickly left my head and suddenly I couldn’t wait to give dad a big fat huge happy for his recovery. The journey on the other hand was too artificial; too much to eat, too much to drink, extremely unusual coupled with an awkward atmosphere. We got closer to home and drove in high speed past dad’s sculpturing company, I found that very peculiar because I could see posters and dad being into politics my question was why dad was already contesting when he has just recovered. My mission was to take it up with him when I get home.

We got to the house and I could see some relatives I hadn’t seen in what seemed like forever standing on the balcony, I turned to Remi and told to her that we only see these relatives when there was a party going on, how come they never visit on a normal day?
I looked up towards the gate and on it was a huge obituary poster of my dad on the right and R.I.P written in bold on the left, just then Remi burst into tears, I; was in shock, Tola held me tight in tears but told me not to cry. We came out of the car; I went past the crying relatives and made my way straight into my mother’s room. She was dressed in black, all black. She gave me a big huge and whispered into my ears; don’t worry my son, God be with us.

It occurred to me then that dad was dead and every other thing added up. This seem to be the true start of my life, a passageway to the man I have become today.

N.B: This is neither fiction nor imaginary, it is the biography of a friend who is not into writing but have long wanted to share his experiences with the help of someone who would take up the assignment. Hence it being on my blog.
So in between my post, this might come up, just so you are aware. Hopefully I dont get carried away with writing his story.

LESSONS.

So am sitting here, in the library trying to do some work for my dissertation, bored as hell because the electronic journal system is not responding and tired too. For some reason the back of my body is throbbing, all the way from the back of my neck to the back of my ankles. Strange because I cannot remember exercising but then MIMI was thinking it might be because I was brisk walking 2days ago, anyway that be that.
Sitting here just looking for what to do got me thinking on my educational life, isn’t it coincidental that most lessons learned in life are actually learned in school? You learnt to be smart, lie, be moral, be conniving, bitchy, selfish, delirious, hilarious, hardworking, good citizen and that some people are just messed up in the brain.

Talking about people being messed up in the brain, it’s just a pity that Nigeria allows that, I mean it’s totally safe to be a downright paedophile. I remember once in primary school, primary 2 precisely I had just changed schools because I moved from the south of Nigerian to the east I think. If my geography is correct of which I doubt but that’s beside the point. So it was new environment, new school, new uniform and new I don’t care attitude. I hate not knowing people, it could be really daunting for me, it weighs me down and turns me into a complete shy rabbit of which amongst friends I am not. Problem is I don’t make friends easy, I would say am too picky when it comes to friends, one of my flaws, call me shallow I sincerely agree. Sorry.

Well I noticed that a group of girls always rally round the teacher’s desk and I noticed they were the beautiful girls in class; all of them had something in common; maturing at 160kph speed rate. I was about 7 and am sure most of them were about the same age as me. Thing is everyone in class somehow knew what was going on although I was oblivious to whatever it was. I just could not wait for closing time each day, for the first year in that school that is the whole of primary 2, I had no friends, not one. Lol, how sad, I just couldn’t be bothered.

Well so there was this maths test we had and the books as normal were supposed to be distributed by either the class captain or the teacher, every1 got their books back except me. I lifted up my hand to alert the teacher of this strange happening his response was for me to come over he would like for me to go through the test with him
Already the peculiar girls were batting their eyelashes at me but like I always do I totally pushed them to the back of my mind, I just could not be bothered. There I was with the teacher, he was marking my maths test with me of which I considered weird. Next thing I knew I felt his fingers slide my panties to one side. I was shocked. 1) Because I couldn’t comprehend how he raised up my skirt without me being aware and 2) I was confused about why his fingers would be sliding my panties. This was primary 2 remember? I was 7 and he was my class teacher. I quickly slapped on his hand, pushed my skirt down, left my book and ran to my sit. Guess what he had to say? He looked at the peculiar girls with a smirk on his face and said isn’t she strange? They all nodded in accordance to his statement.

When I got back to my sit, the girl beside me patted me on the shoulder and told me I did well, he does that to all the girls round his table, in her particular words, ‘they are all silly girls’
I did not report the issue; I was too scared and shy. He didn’t try it with me after that time but the other peculiar girls still rallied round his table. The psychotic bastard!

Primary school lesson learned: some men are extremely messed up in the brain and would go to any length to satisfy their sexual orgies. What a lesson to learn at such a young age even though it was equivocal then, it was still something to ponder on.

Ah ha. The electronic journal thingy is working now, am going back to work. Will be back with school experiences. Laterz.