MY Addiction

Sunday, 13 July 2008

1 year on...THE CAGED BIRD.

One year on blog and I still have not done what I came here for. I have so much bubbling up in me, so many things bottled up. I keep having rants that don’t mean a thing but it’s all fantastic still. Everything’s lesson learned.

Blogville especially has found a way to bring out the truth in people. That which you thought you could hide in pseudonyms alas still shows in between the lines of your words.

Blog for me has been a place where I can be totally free to say anything I really want to say having selfless fun in the process. I try so hard never to get serious on here because people already refer to me has their mother. Funny I know, bottom line in the outside world I am too serious. I have just a few friends that I am really selfless with. But hiding behind the screen and keyboard makes it easy for every one to bring out the silliness in them.

What an irony that we all started on blogger to be free but it has proved to be the other way round. Freedom is so tight in here that it becomes like an airless cage we all struggle to breath in.

What a shame that people you interact with on a friendly fondly level come back as anonymous to bite you in the bum. Now every one of us look behind our shoulders before we write anything down. We all pretend we don’t really care what people think of us but as soon we put our fingers on the keys to type the table turns. The next thing on your mind is wondering which one of these people would come back as an anonymous to spite you. Freedom on blogville is like cinema in prison. Impossible.
Though there is one thing we all cannot bring ourselves to admit, we all refuse to believe that these people we refer to as anonymous are simply bloggers amongst us. Aint it funny? Oh how broken hearted some of us would be if one day blogger broke down and alas the veil hiding all the anonymous is revealed, am sure the names that would come out would be more painful than surprising. It just goes further to say that there are friends and there are a lot of people who claim to be so, that is basic living.

I am thankful because no matter what it is that happens I would rather be quiet than not be true to myself. I have learned so much through the months I have spent on here.

1. You choose who you want to be; you can either be yourself or live someone else's life.
2. Freedom lies within you: you choose to be true to yourself or live for others.
3. Wherever you go, people are all the same: vindictive, spiteful and quick to judge.

This does not depict the fact that there are no good true people, I know a lot of people are really wonderful and beautiful but even amongst roses you have thorns.

Through the months, I have seen how creative people carefully construct their deliveries, how extremely jobless some people can be and how shallow minded people write anonymously. What ever cannot be written in pseudonym is not worth writing at all. (isn't that such an irony as the two live under the same roof?)

However so far, I’ve had smiles, laughs, fun times like the blogville idol (even though sey una no vote for me. I still dey vex sha but in the spirit of honesty, y'all are forgiven) and cries (yes cries! Dear Seun made me cry so hard) on blogville. It has been wonderful to read what people write.

To everyone who have remained true to self. It’s an honour to come in contact with you at all.
To all those who are fonies; are you sure that part is where you want to be?
To the anonymous who think being anonymous make you invincible; that is just clowny and you just beat yourself in your own game because writing in pseudonyms is anonymous in itself.

And so one year on and I cannot bring myself to write what I truly came here for because unconsciously I have become a caged bird.

33 finger tappings:

Atutupoyoyo said...

I was worried cos it was starting to sound like a long kiss goodbye.

How does that saying go again? Something like - Life is what happens to you whilst you are busy making plans. Well, blogging is kinda like that. I bet there are very few people who are still following their original mission statements. I like to think of it as an evolution.

I certainly can't complain about the quality of your posts that I have read. If future posts are in the same vein, then long may it continue.

theicequeen said...

just like atutu, i kinda became afraid that a goodbye was somwhere in this extremely releived that i didnt find it.

every word of this post resonates with me. Most of us started blogging because we just wanted to say what we wanted without having to think what people would think, but it turns out that its not that you start typing a post, you are immediately plagued by thoughts of the comments that will follow, the perecption people will have, and we dont want to offend anybody, or allow anybody think we are this or that...and then ther are the people who know you, and that makes it so much harder,a nd even worse are the anonymoses who come to hurt you...they are all so cowardly, and yet the most frightening is that they are probably bloggers we know..grrr

great post mehn.

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

"Wherever you go, people are all the same: vindictive, spiteful and quick to judge"
Very true...Babes, I'll like to say that your one of the beautiful people i have met here..i had to let u in my life..and i would never for one second doubt your realness..
when i first started blogging, i thought i found foolish was I? how can it be when the people who make up this place are from the real world,they bring their imperfections...
among the uglyness, there is still beauty

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

oh and i did vote for you

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@atutu... moving me from blog would be like moving mountain. i dey here bam!

well if it seem like an evolution it certainly is one.

and continue i shall.
thx atuts i shall always keep it simple.

@Tiq... i believe every word resonate among most bloggers in one way or the other. we are all victims of society.

@zephi... utopia??? gradually u begin to notice that it is in actual fact the opposite.
look how many people are out already, some left so quickly u forget they were ever around at all.
but like i said, amongst roses are thorns.
there has to be bad for u to recognize good.
darling a beautiful heart radars beautiful hearts.

lol. thanks for voting sweetie, bless ur heart.

Olamild said...

I was kinda scared u were leaning blogville

But I want to say it is soooooooo nice to have you on blogville. dont even think of leaving o

Free-flowing Florida said...

this is truly beautiful, a writing 4rm d heart. it's well, dear. shit happens!

& i voted 4 u @ blogville idols oh. i even imported voters 4 u sef! wetin come happen na?

Afrobabe said...

Yes oh…I learnt that a while ago…random jokes are taken serious and you are made an enemy…I write cos I like writing, I started writing cos I wanted to put down my journey as a single girl in search of love..very honestly, I put down my thoughts and actions….

Now I just write keeping so much to myself that it doesn't seem worth writing.

once bitten twice shy they say…they really knew what they were saying,…..

All the annons are the same people you talk and smile with…very painful…

All the same, remain you .. eyebrows are still waiting...

bumight said...

i used to snicker when people say they started blogging as a form of therapy. why? cos even over the internet, people are all the same.
If everyone gave you glowing comments all the time, then something is indeed fishy.
If you now add on the fact that people liase outside blogville, it can make it even harder to really pour out your heart here.
sometimes, the anonymoous comments are the few ones that give it to u without sugar coating things, and most times they ring true with the smell of bloggers. That only goes to show how phoney the blog-world is. I've only gotten a handful of anonymous comments, and they really hurt.
I've always loved reading your posts, and i pray you stay on blogville for a long long time. Let the caged bird fly!

Charizard said...

am wit atuts o...u scared me there mehn...mmn...I feel u on being unconciously a caged bird but ever since my ex attacked me as an anonymous mehn I jus spread my wings and flew free mehn...and jus in case I feel like I am not free again...ha! I have ma trusty alternative blog account...

Abbie said...

Glad you are still sticking around even after all that.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Even the caged bird has a song
So sing it
Until you start flying again.
Pour out your soul and screw the anonymousers.

Baroque said...

hey pretty pebbles, dont let them fuckers get to you with their shenanigans...i hope you finally get to fulfil your 'mission statement' on blogsville...i'm here for you, going nowhere

Jaycee said...

"This does not depict the fact that there are no good true people, I know a lot of people are really wonderful and beautiful but even amongst roses you have thorns."

I love it when u said that even amongst roses, you have thorns. I love the realness behind this post. It emphasizes the point of man's imperfection. I say to myself many times that "I'm not perfect," but by God's grace I am living my life according to the perfection of God's image (only by His grace).

I pray that the reason u truly decided to write will be manifested, that even in your cage you will find freedom.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@olamild... at all ohh. am not leaving blogville for anything in as much as all this happens. it is a beautiful place.

@flo... well i just thot to write on occurrences on blogville and this is my in take on it.

lol @ voting for mi, so u were one of the faithfuls ehhh??? lol thx sugar.

@afrobabe... about random jokes on blogville, honestly i doubt if it exist, sometimes i wonder if humor even exist. its good tho, we have some really good laffs here. some really good ones.

and i cannot but remain mi, jare, i was just concerned so many pple left because of anons, its not like the bugged mi personally or anything.

and ur eyebrows, be prepare ohh that shit hurts u need to be strong woman, wen am in town i go see u.
i think ill be coming down next week, but we go see sha.

@bumight... u see thatz the problem, some people sugar coat stuff in pseudonym but come back as anons, wot exactly is the point? they might as well not comment at all if u see wot i mean?

no need for sweetie wen u turn around to say bitch. that aint right. at all.
if we want to be truthful, do it right isnt?

this exactly why people cannot stomach it and leave, it is difficult to know who to trust, that if u really depend on people to trust u see.
i personally dont av a problem wit anons, its just that it would be terrible to pour ur heart out and some1 comes and spits it back in ur face. as i take see am now, no therapy for blogville.

@charizard... lol ur girl attacked u as an anon??? thatz the crazy.

in respect of the caged bird in mi, oh thatz just the fact that am feel weird about sharing my deepest emotions on here apart from that, am as free as a bird in the sky.

@abbie... well darling stick around is wot i do the best.

@ndq... i can fly, i can fly, i can fly.

@baroque... mi darling, for u am going no where.
oh and for my mission statement; its kinda here, just that i cant say the inner most feelings in my heart.

as for anons, they dont bug me.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@jaycee... thank you darling, i pray the same too. thankfully tho, even in my tiny cage, freedom is present.

Tears said...

na wasn't begging for her apology....thanks shaa for being the only one that CARED stand up for me :D

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

i know u wasnt hunie, i just felt like saying that u see.

alright luv. we all just aving fun isnt so???

Tears said...

Yap we are coz i was goofing around and laughing all through :P

and thnx atleast for the care! ~bunch kisses~

Jinta said...

"What a shame that people you interact with on a friendly fondly level come back as anonymous to bite you"

it isn't a shame. that's what happens in the real world - you have people who are open, you have others who lurk in darkness. the one complements the other

i would not let them bother me. their very nature preys on those who are affected

Jinta said...

now i've got to get off your page quick time, your music is doing my head in

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@tears...its all good love.

@jinta... well that was the whole point of the blog; IRONY. 'u cant find solace in blogging, u cant find solace anywhere' and on blogville solace becomes a myth in itself.

as for my music. isnt that sad now??? sorry mate i breath music. one of my appreciations of living.

Standtall said...

Waoh, just as I added another yr, same day u became one on blogville. I am happy.

I tire for some of this anon pple. When will peeps learn to be true to themselves? I have resolved to get rid of any baaddddddddddddd and useless message. I will just delete. It's good to be polite and constructive. I have known so many wonderful peeps in blogville and I am happy abt dat.

Thanks Lighty!!!

Standtall said...

When idd u change ur display name dearie? This one na ebano

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@standall... lol i changed it about 3weeks ago. lol about it being ebano.

Shubby Doo said...

i loved this 'writing in pseudonyms is anonymous in itself.'

For that very reason this attempt/ this blogging cannot be a real autobiography.

My suggestion:
'...simply...tell the story of...numerous experiments with truth, and consists of nothing but those experiments, it is true that the story will take the shape of an autobiography..." Gandhi

know cos it is about your truth...your experiment with the truth...nobody can take that away from you...

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@shubby doo... well true say, very well said.

Standtall said...

Na ebano o

Standtall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

@atandtall... which one be ebano now??? lol!

Standtall said...

Oh sorry mi-lady "ebano" to my understanding means "too much", "the real thing" and what else o. Hmm that will do.

Adorable said...

Great writes. You've got talent. So when is the book getting published???

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

standtall... lol. ohh i see. know i know.

@adorable.. thx sweetie, whenever u say the book is to be published mi luv. u just say.