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Monday, 4 August 2008

FoolyWang

My Ex is a poof! And I am not just saying that because I want to hate him or because I want to curse him out because he is now my Ex but seriously, my Ex is a poof!!! The greatest one that is and ever will be.

He sent me a text the other day saying:
Yesterday was the lowest point in my life, I don’t know what is wrong with me, my brother and my ex suggested therapy, ive made contact today and should be starting on Wednesday, I’m sorry if I took that out on u but I was out of my mind, I felt suicidal and it disgust me. Again I apologise.

My translation:
Yesterday I was with my girlfriend, she gets insecure when I am on the phone with you, she suggested I cut off all connections with you. I had to cut off the phone when you called on Sunday, I’m sorry I had to send you that text telling you to lose my number, but there was no escape for me. I feel ashamed doing this, but right now, lying is my only way out. Please forgive me.

Y’all know the very funny thing? I was peacefully chatting to friends on yahoo chat when this clown, no, poof decided to send me a message asking where I was going to be for the weekend. I ask him why and apparently his niece goes to uni in the city I live and he was coming over to pick her to his house.

I told him I was busy and not sure if I would be visiting my folks. Anyway somehow he barricaded me into agreeing to see him on Sunday when he comes. I say whatever; to be honest I do not believe anything that comes out of his mouth. For all you know, that entire story was fabricated just to give him a reason to come round mine. I have not seen him for two years, not since we broke it off and was not looking forward to.

Anyway me knowing the liar he is now, I waited till like 9pm on Sunday to call him just to rob in that I knew all that was bull crap. This guy picks up the phone and starts talking like he had a padlock to his mouth. Ignoring all that I ask how come he didn’t come to pick his niece, he gives me a story about her being with his brother, after which the phone mysteriously went off. I call him back, voicemail. I just laughed because knowing the kind of person my Ex is, I knew what was happening so I was not surprised when 30mins after I got this text:

No offence but lose my number
I first laughed and thought this guy has to be on crack

I send a reply saying:
Its either u are chasing ur shadow or it is running after u
Whatever it is you are chained; you, your shadow and you web of lies
That is what is hunting you not me
Your #? Lost
It does me no good
Adieus.

This guy replies saying thanks

I send him another text saying he should thank himself, and that he needs to lie in any well he dug. Also telling him to bounce off my phone.

Am not even joking but I know this guy was definitely trying to prove to some girl that he is too hot and I am bugging him, telling him I love him too much to leave him.

This particular Ex of mine has drama, and seriously, this guy would lie that his mother is about to be beheaded just because. I can’t even go into details with him; if I do I swear you guys would tell me you have never come across anybody of his kind.

I called my friend and give her the gist, she laughed and couldn’t stop laughing, we are use to him and we all swore he was going to call back the next day.
Lo and behold he did with a different number. (he knew I was not going to pick my phone).
Anyways he goes Lighty are you home? Are you home alone? I need to talk to you; can I come see you please?

About coming to see me. Hiss* Why the hell do you wanna come see me for??? Look, a series of text messages was exchanged yesterday what do you wanna come see me for???

Note. This is someone I refused to see for two years ohh, I have not seen him for that long and all of a sudden he wants to know if I am home alone? Oh hell no! Who knows if he wants to come beat me up, abeg I fear first sha.

Anyway he goes I can’t really explain on the phone, I will send you a text, think about it and please call me after, I really need to see you.

Lol! That is the text he sent, the one at the start of the post.

I read it and put my phone back on the table hiss* Drama King. And by the way, the reason he is still lying, is because he claims he doesn’t have a girlfriend and still wants me back. What kind of foolishness. Hiss* again.

…….

On more random matters, I went to the movies with a friend; this guy has the loudest most annoying laugh. I mean he literarily laughs like Santa clause, as in: ho ho ho. Plus he laughs at everything not funny. Apparently he gets it and we don’t, in his own words. I was so pissed off ay. He was lucky I’d seen the movie before that day. Some 2hrs 30mins of bat man and the ho(ing) Santa clause. Phsew…

…moving on, how are you lovies doing??? Am goooooooooooood.

48 finger tappings:

Nice Anon said...

I'm sorry but this is too funny! Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa! He laughs like santa? lmao

Anonymous said...

UR EX IS A BIG PSYCHOTIC FOOL

WATS WITH LAFFING LIKE SANTA!!HE GETS YOU..YOU ALL DONT-LOL~~

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

some serious foolywang.
Im glad you got out of such a relationship..kai

Shubby Doo said...

Your ex sounds like mine...a poof indeed. Your living your life jejely. He is with his new babe but he can't let go! I hated such rubbish...especially making it seem like it is u disturbing him 2 his babe. Hisss. Don't reply his text mssg ...after 2 yrs...just keep on ignoring him...pray his problem will never be yours again.

Standtall said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Standtall said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm that guy is a loser. I keep friends with some of my exes but if I happen to have an incorrigible lier like this your ex, I will cut the tie forever

~mimi~ said...

lollllllllllllllllllllllllllll

dont i just know whot that is.

:( call me or send me ur landline number on my phone cos there's no way for me to contact u.

Afrobabe said...

The translation is more like…I am sorry she sent you that text and I was too weak to stop her…
I think that was the case as he was first to make contact, I know cos I have done it before lmao..sent a text to a girl telling her my babe is around please don’t call…off course she called and he cut the phone on her yelling otherwise he would have had to explain to me who was yelling…

Chill babe, loads of fish out there…

Lmao @ the santa clause laughing guy…all sorts babes, it sucks being single!!!

Queen of My Castle said...

LMAO @ the Santa-esque guy.

As for your ex...my ex-hubby was the same damn way. So glad it's over now.

How you dey? It's been a long time since I have stopped by. My apologies.

teediva said...

lol. u and all these people u know. nice to know u're fine dear.

AlooFar said...

I'm not sure you intend this to be a funny post. It's damn funny.

Maybe your ex should read this ;)

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ nice anon... trust mi, he really does, annoying brat. hiss*

^ anon...luv psychotic is absolute understatement, his personal hospital shuld be built 4 him.

^ zephi my dear, i'm glad i am, i sometimes wonder how i got to be in it in the first place sef.

^ shubby doo... may his problem never be mine jare, the guy is a no.1 poof and trust mi sweetie, i dont intend to reply the crazy text.

^ standatall... the mofo deserves to be cut off truly.

^ mimi... u knw u can never miss who that is now, who wuld? he's the only one in existence of his kind. i'll text u my dear, did u get my miss calls?

^ afrolicious... shea??? it could be any of the 2, and i dont even care which one sef, the guy needs to waka far away from me bo.
u knw now... too much fish to give myself headache for this unwanted mofos.
sometimes ern being single gives u eye to see wot life is made of. the sort of things u see ern, unbelievable. lol!

^ QOMC... the santa guy is outta this world jo.
... as for the Ex am so glad it was over a long time ago.

omo i dey ohh and apologies accepted luv.

^ teediva... na dem no one leave mi ohh, all these crazy people. lol!

^ aloofar... u know it'll be wonderful if he could, at least then he would know how retarded he comes out sometimes.

guerreiranigeriana said...

...ok, your ex is a bona-fide tool...a fuck boy in fact...wow...glad you dumped off a while ago...

...as for laughing like santa claus...lol!!...who does that?...honestly?!...how strange...

Aphrodite said...

lmao...
I cracked up at the end of this post, walahi!

Me thinks afro's interpretation of his text is probably right.

rayo said...

on drama king, wat a guy, how did ya cope wit him b4.
cinema santa, it goes without sayn dat u wont b goin 2 d cinemas wt him anymo

Free-flowing Florida said...

ur ex na classified A-hole! damn, dude has major issues mehn!

as 4 d santa guy, don't u just wonder, after every date 4rm hell, abt God's sense of humour

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ GN... lol, u culdnt av said it any better. as 4 santa, i honestly dont know who does that apart from this dude.

^ aphrodite... i wuldnt be surprised if it is. lol.

^ rayo... u know how u refuse to see all these things wen u're in a relationship? yea! datz how i coped my dear.
as 4 santa... he shuld leave mi out his cinema visits. about ho(ing), hiss*

^ flo... i tell u, his issues are more than major.
lol! about God's sense of humour, now thinking about it, datz funny.

NaijaBabe said...

I need to watch batmaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

On the other hand, if he really has a girl, then maybe its the girl sending you those random texts, but then again seeing as he didnt deny it, then he clearly has issues

Buttercup said...

i agree..u dnt see a lot of stuff wen u r wit a guy, or if u do, u put up wit the bullshit cos of 'love'..once u break up u wonder wat the hell was wrong wit u for puttin up wit such..

just ignore the guy jere!

LMAO @ ur santa friend..

LG said...

poof poof reminds me of woof woof,
lollll but like my sisto burrercup said, ignore him, na im go tire.

cheers

OluwaDee said...

U need 2 rid yourself of this x. Asin do not even bother replying his text messages or talking 4 more than a second with him.

Chari said...

laughing like santa ke?

me never see that one b4 o..

As per Mr. Ex na craze dey worry am..word!

Afronuts said...

Your ex must be deranged. Hope he doesnt turn into a serial killer, God forbid.

LMAO!! A dude that laffs like santa!
Reminds me of a guy in my workplace who laffs so loud everybody thot he had an amplifier attached to his big mouth.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ naijababe... trust mi, u need to watch batman, ive seen it twice and it was just as good. fantastic movie.

maybe or maybe not, it really doesnt even matter. he needs to just bounce into space abeg. i didnt even confront him wit it, i didnt need to the guy is a bitch.

^ buttercup... my dear, ignoring is exactly wot i am doing, cannot be bothered with the guy sef.

^ lg... lol! at woof woof, perfect comparison. lol.

^ oluwadee... i dont intend to reply that text. and i dont even want to speak to the dude anymore sef. he's always one drama or the other. the guy is just crazy honest.

^ chari... yes o. laffing exactly like santa, me sef i fear. lol!

i agree wit the craze of mr X menh!

^ afronuts... lol. asper deranged, he sure is, very much so. asper his serial killer moves, na him sabi. in case he starts he shuld better move far away from mi sha.
amplifier ke, lol, dat one is on another level i must say.

Omosewa said...

LOL, this your ex is one kind...abeg he should carry go.

Lmaooo@ho-ing santa claus, went to the movie with my girlfriend the other day and she was laughing at every line, i was so upset*rolleyes*

Thanks for the bday wish babe.

ibiluv said...

ur ex...............an asswipe.....

i have a married ex who used to wanna catch me home alone.....

my abode is a good 3 hrs from his....traffic induced......

made him come to mine 3 times with moi being hours away from home...only to say i forgot we had an appointment..........

need i say..now he stays with his wife!!!!!!!!!!!

if he knew he wanted *this*....why the heck did he marry her..........

he already made his choice and i thank God DAILY......i am fortunate he choose her...dont need his sorry ass...used to think i would never find another(sex was earth shattering)......

oh there have been others........BERRA sef.....with *this* dude.......my heart stopS beating!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waffarian said...

My sister...I am so feeling this post right now....damn...what's up with all these "woman wrapper" men?

From experience, yep, you are totally right, he'll do whatever the woman of the moment tells him cos the fool has no mind of his own. Today it will be you, tmrw her, and next tmrw, any other woman that he just happens to fall in love with. Yep, he'll degrade you, insult you to acknowledge his love to another...but do not worry, he'll degrade her as well, as soon as some other person comes around and "convinces" him she is the one.

He will never have a mind of his own...and anybody that can not understand that choice is a virtue, will always allow others do the choosing for him...no matter if it is Sikiratu...he'll trade fork and knife for plastic spoon to prove his love...

A typical olodo...and he will carry last.

Dammy said...

You had me cracking on the post about you Ex. Too bad some people derive pleasure in the game of lies. But how far can he go with deceit?

Wana know my stand on this? I'd recommend you read my recent post.

Thanks for your words of encouragement all through the B'I 08 experience. You inspired me greatly!

Hi.

Enigma said...

He decides to get in touch with you after about 2 yrs?.. Poof is an understatement actually.

i agree with afro, the girl sent the texts.. or he induced it just for the trips..

one advice, ignore him totally, if he calls with a different no, hang up once u hear he's voice, he's not needed in your psyche, not to mention your head or life...

if he's that suicidal, tell him to jump into the Thames...at high tide for that matter.

1st time here...nice to meet you

princesa said...

What colour of ex is this now? he should just lose ur number and memory abeg. We dont need such types in our lives, Mchewww!!

naijalines said...

You already know you are much better off without his ass trailing behind you... You're the lucky one. I would lose his number.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ omosewa... i will be very happy if he does.
dont u just hate it wen they laff through every single insignificant line???

^ ibiluv... lol! u wicked ohh, after driving that far?? good for the bobo. maybe i shuld do that to my ex, right now he lives 1.30mins away. it will be fantastic to tell him to come round the day i live town. lol. that wuld be a laff.
softly make ur heart stop beating ohh. make sure it kicks as soon as it stops.
i guess if we dont move on, we never know wot we're missing.

^ waffy... u are sooooo right. u culdnt av said it better. this guy wuld say anything, i mean anything to prove his love. and about him not aving a mind of his own? he doesnt, at all.
oh! he has carried last too many times. lol!

^ dammy... i tell u one can never go that far with deceit u know why? because one will need more lies to cover the initial lie and it all turns out muddled.
u're welcome my BI'08 contestant. u rawked!!!!!

hello...

^ enigma... oh no, he calls from time to time to proclaim his undying luv but i avnt seen him 4 2years.
me knowing him well, i say he sent those texts.
trust am done with his bull crap. cannot be bothered with the guy.
lol. u know, am even thinking the thames is still good sef, he needs to jump in front an on coming train if he wants to die. hiss*

^ princessa... at all menh! cannot be bothered with him, he needs to keep far away.

^ naijalines... well i've lost his no now. done with his dumb ass.

badderchic said...

I know people who know people who know people who drop ex's

t'will be on the house. lol

prt 2 is sooo ready.

Hunter girl said...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL goodness why are men such arses???? Does he think you wont figure him out? Goodness, this kind of person will allow a woman to commit murder!!

ROFLOL about santa, did u ask him for a christmas gift?? Ho ho ho!!!!

Tears said...

ROFLMFAO!!! u aint alone dear...my ex calls me that he's applying for visa come see me, making it sound like he wants come purpose me or something, then next day tells me stay away from him coz i spoke to people bout him or WTF he trashing out from that box he calls a mouth. He did this like FIVE times!! I got fed up and set him straight in bullet stinging words!! (ya get what i mean shaa :P)....hate to stereotype but some dudes are just random fools!!!

WTF @ the Santa?? i saw five mins of that movie (didn't like it) and saw NOTHING funny out of it...

LOL @ your men drama...wish i could put mine in words...nd thnx for coming by

~kisses~

Tears said...

ps. could u help tell me how u pimp ur comment thing from 34 comments to 34 Finger Tappings aint a cyber freak and been trying crack my head on it :D

Tears said...

OMG! how come i never knew?? hmmmm...thnx thu
xx

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ badderchic... lol obviously u be badderchic now, i dont expect less. ok i'll email u his profile.

i shuld go off 4 part 2 now.

^ huntergirl... shea??? men are such trouble makers, am not sure they even realise this sef.

i shuld av actually asked 4 my xmas gift, he cant just ho into my ears and get away with it

^ 5times. u even try sef, the guy is a big goat.
u saw 5mins of batman and u did not like it??? r u sure we are talking about the same movie here. i think the 1st 5mins of that movie is the bomb!!!! wot??? menh! u need a movie checkup if u hated that movie oh...

i see u've pimped up ur page... about kleenex. lol!

Carlang said...

Ho HO Ho in the middle of oh.. i dont know...ONLY THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME.
How dare that Joker laugh at THE JOKER.
The nerve of that man!

About your ex.
He's a pathetic loser.
You're free.
Lets do it!!

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ carl... haaaaa. lolololol. about how dare the joker laff @ the joker. only u carl can come up with such.

well carl if ure down doing it, am down.

Bunmmy said...

hahahaha drama king ex. good riddance dear and whenever you hear his voice on fone just hang up!

have a great weekend.

archiwiz said...

Ah ah....I wonder if blogger mysteriously deletes my comments from time to time ohh...its no more funny.


Anyway...thank goodness you've left his dry behind. His gf obviously sent that message, and he's obviously so not over you to be acting so childishly...Stupid foolywang.

Hope your weekend was great joo. Its all good on this side.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I know you wrote that he was a poof but Ikeep thinking "puff puff". Gosh, I wish i could have some puff puff.

Hope all is well with you. Stay goooood! =)

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Your ex sounds like a real butt hole. Glad you corrected that situation!

Okay I seriously laughed out loud when I read about the Ho Ho Ho laugh!

Parakeet said...

Men and their web of lies...gurl I musn't lie to you, you gave him too much attention. Two years is enough for him to go hang himself. Pls when next he calls with another unknown number just cut the phone as soon as u hear his voice. biko.

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

^ bummy... i will most certainly do. thanx luv.

^ archiwiz... my dear thatz his and his girlfriend's bees wax menh! it will be fantastic 4 him to get ova mi ohhh.

my weekend was fantastic. i had fun, am happy u're doing gud dearie.

^ SS... lol @ u thinking of puff puff. u can make that happen, go get ur ingredients.
all is well and am as good as good gets.

^ NDQ... am as glad as u are my dear the guy is a proper butt hole indeed.
as 4 santa. that 1 is in his own world.

^ parakeet... i think i did actually give him too much attention. and i am definitely not speaking to him any more.

SouLBoutiQue said...

Lighty, your ex is a POOF!!! Wow I haven't heard that word in it seems ages.....But i trust you....you gave it to him! No vex, i'm catching up on your blogs aight....love ya and i hope you are well!

xoxo

AG

Jaguda said...

dats why hes an EX, dont even worry bout it