Warning! This piece was inspired by …yesterday has gone and sort of a sub story. The piece reflects the life of the snail Celestina had desperately wished for. To really appreciate this, I encourage you to take the time out to visit the story because this piece is basically taken out and expanded.
…
Its hard back refused to absorb the tiny drops of rain
Observed it slowly makes its way from stones to trees
Heavily it breaths, chest on ground, shoulders chipped
The burden has become unbearable
The cold second nature
Even the leaves that so often gave a refuge now become prison
Underneath these supposed leaves of shield lies its death
For unknown forces could settle upon it
Crushing every substantial evidence of its existence
Numerous times this had happened
Just has its sister’s babies were stomped, bulldozing even her in her failed attempt to save their very lives
Slowly, selfless and feeble it makes its way
Towards the rotten wood its place of rest
Relieved that yet another day had gone past sparing its life
Thinking of what tomorrow will entail
Peace and happiness flowing through its mind
But abruptly cut short
As one of the unknown forces stepped on it, crushing everything that made it
And without noticing marched along, hands in pocket, whistling a melody.
…
Note: it so happens we wish to have other people’s life instead of focusing on how to fix our problems, a way of settling for the easy way out I guess. We automatically assume no one else apart from us suffer or have problems and so nurture thoughts wishing for their lives. Unfortunately everyone has one or two issues that trouble them. In this piece I compare the human life to a snail’s life to fully show that not only humans but every living creature has a problem of its own.
MY Addiction
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Life of a snail...
Copyright Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl at 04:47
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
22 finger tappings:
I suck at poems, big time. that is why I more than appreciate the explanation beneath.
the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, that's why a lot of people compare lives/problems.
I 2nd Bumight on everything...
I suck on poems and yes the grass is greener else where...lol
But kai the life of a snail isn't funny at all...but then again even our life isn't funny...too many things could happen at any time...
hahahaha @ afro. & wot is dat pic am seeing against ur name, afro? where is my sexy vixen with her comforting pillow? ha!
Lovely verse & an apt analogy...i'm with bumight & afro...but u know the reason a person's problem seems so big 2 them compared with someone else is because they carry it...much like the shell of the snail...funny i never thought of their shell as the weight of the world on their shoulders until i read this...just thought snails were better off when compared with slugs!
FFF take ya time o, instead of u to thankGod say AFRO don 'repent'
*grin*
The life of a snail sha *sighs*
funny enuf, my colleague was telling me yesterday dat anyone who dreams abt a snail needs to go for quick deliverance, cos it portrays long suffering and backwardness,
i just dey look her...
Girl you have skills ooo...nice piece, i had to go and read the first installment of this post and it was quite poignant.
My fav line "it so happens we wish to have other people’s life instead of focusing on how to fix our problems"....yep things look perfect from afar don't they?....
Nice piece, very nice indeed.
so true... we always feel as if the weight on our shoulders is greater than it is.
it helps to sometimes shift focus and realise that the world does not revolve around us. all the time.
Excellent writeup Neferet.
Excellent.
Strange comparison though.
I love the poem....and I love ur playlist..I listen to it everday at work!!!..xoxo
^ bumight... i feel u on the grass being greener. i say that so much my self. it was my pleasure to break it down my dear.
^ afrobabe... my dear life in general is tough, we just av to fight it out. and that pic afro, u dey vex mi ohh lol!
^ flo... erm... *scratches head* ok.
^ shubby doo... lol! at least the snails are better off than the slugs. there u go.
^ lg... na wa 4 ur colleague ohh. why will u even dream of a snail in the first place. but i guess dreams can be anything shea??? the long suffering and backwardness na war oh.
^ jarrai... things sure looks perfect from afar. thnx dearie for appreciating the pieces, much appreciated. and u took time out to read the post too. fantastic.
^ geishasong... i truly agree the world never revolves around us. and we just need to sort ourselves out.
^ tobenna... thx sweetie.
^ ms O... thx sweetie and u listen to my playlist @ work? impressive. i never knew u were even here. well now u come out of ur shell am glad u're here.
Why am I never first?
okay i wuz ere
I read your poem.
ees too much joo! lol
indeed every living creature has a problem of its own.
9ce piece.
Once again sis, I delight in your writing.
"Even the leaves that so often gave a refuge now become prison
Underneath this supposed leaves of shield lies its death"
I like the association in these lines. I've always admired people who can write metaphorically without over labouring the point. If you don't mind a little critiquing from one poet to the other, felt you could've done without one or two lines to create that crispy effect and keep our minds working at unwritten implications.
Great job.
lighty - you and me should not fight...carl thomas was number 3 when i found this blog...then he went to number 5 on the playlist...now i have to scroll & search to find him...no no no...pleeeeese no...*on my knees*
if he is to fall off the list i shall...no i'm not going to say anymore...apart from...my dear you have been warned!
Journalism it is.
^ badderchic... lol! try putting the page as ur desktop coverage.
^ oluwadee... yes they do.
^ adorable... i appreciate, all criticism welcomed.
^ shubby doo... lol. u're lucky it is there at all. there is a season 4 everything. a season 4 carl a season 4 not carl. but dont worry darling, u're in 4 a beautiful surprise.
^ mimi... there is room 4 as many degrees as possible. and this time journalism it just might be.
but u know what ever happens i cannot hang my gucci skirt suit that my dear is strictly 4 banking and u know the passion now???
I should email this post to my friend who i wrote about that is suffering from the "grass is greener" malaise as napaali nicely put it.lol
anyways sha, I have never for one day wished i was a snail..lol..too damn slow..and the people who drive like smails on the road piss me the hell off.lol
nice write up sweetie
...beautiful lighty...i especially love that you led us to believe that the snail had made it safely only to be crushed...just like that...makes you realize that you should cherish each moment and LIVE, not just survive because when it's time, it's time...beautiful...
Beautiful...the cross we all bear is indeed a universal one for all creatures who live.
Yorubas say 'ojo iku lojo isimi':
The day of death is the day of rest.
thank you for the short summary under the poem. i would have had to fourth bumight, afro and shubby...lol
i attempted a poem on my blog once... hmmm... need i say more?
Nice piece!
This is really deep.
How you dey?
great lesson right there..
Post a Comment