*Much ado About absolutely noThing*

oh my dayz its been a lonnnng time. but as old flames always find a way back into your life. i found my way back to blogging but this time 'round...am settling in with life in Nigeria...@ least 4 a year. That is what i say to myself to get by.

Been 4months and a bit in Nigeria...so far... so good. i have gone beyond all that culture shock...but i must say my shock absorber gets a overload sumtimes...metaphorically speaking. However there is absolutely no place like home, nowhere else will accommodate you like your father land and somehow 'mama's cooking always taste beha'.

omo there are no decent men in abuja o. chai! i don suffer. so so married men na e dey. after the married men we have the golddigger single men...a step down the ladder, there are the young lads who have total disregard for women. Abuja is on a whole 'nother level on its own. it has so much inside information...nothing on the outside. like how everybody is lazy with work but yet manage to rake in billions of naira. only in anuja town do you see decent looking guys with flashy cars who literally live in their csrs. yes! they do no have a place to call home. whereever they end up is where they crash and when they do not succeed in finding a place for the night they simply crash in their cars. Abj is the only place you hear extremely bizzare stories on a daily basis and no one is surprised. for instance as i type a girl lies in the national hospital, her breats are extremely swollen and worms r coming out of them. how so u might wonder. she was proposed 1million in cash for her breast to be sucked. she got the money before the act, later rendered her service and the result u already read. 5 girls went out of kubwa nysc camp and 1 has gone missing. a body of a girl was dumbed infront of the gate with a 100thousand on her chest. to us abuja residents...this is absolute day to day activity. a liltte bit like waking in the morning and brushng your teeth.

so..as the days weeks and months roll into my year...follow mi on my journey into discovery abuja the great. i promise...no hold backs...i'll let it all out. look out for my first installment...monday 8th of december. it'll blow your mind.

miss y'all.....ur one and only
Lighty Neferet.

Arcana...

I have a dream, in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment; I shall rise.

Dear bloggers

I am sorry it has taken me years to finally compose myself, to decide that YES my spirit is filled again to write, to tell myself that; I want to live again, want to breathe again, want to feel peace again and want to be FREE again.

I realise I have been a slave to life the past two years; I have drowned myself in sorrow just because I felt it was the right thing to do. I have lived a lonely life just to get me an excuse to fall into a depression. I have cried over silly things and I have exalted vanity. I have lived my life anti-clockwise just to be rebellious, I have avoided love so many times and embraced lies and lust on a couple of occasions. It’s amazing looking back on life and not only seeing the things you have done wrong but seeing the things you have chosen to do wrong. Could it have been rebellion? maybe I was fighting the strength in me…telling me “c’mon” be a little weaker”. Often times I sit and think of these things, think of why I have chosen to live in gloom. Could it be because of suppressed hurt? Are my heart breaks more than I am counting? Am I in denial over issues in my past? Do I have bottled up anger and grudges that I have decided to store away? When I think about it, I think about a computer and its recycle bin…how you can delete items but it stays in the computer…somewhere, away from things you need but can either be totally wipe out or restored.

Dear bloggers… I put myself in a depressed prison that only I had the keys to open… and yet my outside was of high spirits and light. Talk about hypocrisy (rolling eyes). I could not bring myself to write because writing is the one area I am totally honest with myself… I cannot bring my hands on my keyboard and tell a lie… it just doesn’t work… that would be robbing me of the last bit that’s left of me.
Sometime in the course of the last two years a friend said to me that they fancied my life. That I had it going and that they wished they were in my shoes…I couldn’t help but be honest….I replied by saying ‘what you are wishing for in me is a façade…all of these is for you to see…it is not what it really is…it is a make believe.
For example that I wear designer accessories does not mean I am rich…it means I am in debt. I live in a beautiful apartment…what you don’t know is I get shit services…every single thing takes forever to get sorted or never get sorted; for instance my TV aerial socket has no connection and since the 2nd of December 2009 and when am having a guest put in a DVD so you never notice that fact. You think I have a high flying job like I make believe…the truth is I hate my job with every fiber in me and want out o so badly. You look at me and you think am posh…you think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and you think money will be the last of my worries…money is the first of my worries…I’ve got 99 problems 98 of them is money…I wake up each morning and ask myself why it didn’t turn out the other way round….why my parents are not rich…why I have to struggle and work for every last penny. Although my parents are not poor…my mum is richer than my dad and that’s where the problem lies. I tell you I have a fetish for shoes and you admire my collection because apparently I am now a shoe collector…truth is I have struggled with my weight for 7years and found solace in buying shoes instead of clothes as I don’t grow out of them, and always tend to buy myself dresses 2 sizes small with the hope of wearing them someday but eventually end up giving them away.

I have used the last two years to find myself, to fight myself and to release myself. I have gotten reed of all fake designer bags in my closet and put them in the bin. The ones you would have sworn were real. Only the real ones stay now. I decided to get on with losing weight and lost 10kg…not far to go now. I have decided to free myself of vanity and focus on the reality. I am not flattered by what labels are in the store no more. I don’t kill myself to have what I am not capable of having now although I still droll. Still buy and read vogue religiously every month (lol). I gave myself a motor though “there is time for everything” time for Manolo and time for Kurt Geiger….time for Jaeger and time for Miss Selfridge….time for Gucci and time for DKNY. I started to think to myself the people I read in this glossy magazine wearing and carrying this fancies are mostly middle aged, I read of their achievements and I am blown away, they have worked hard and are now enjoying the fruit of their labour (no reference to the models). I on the other hand…am in my mid-twenties, not worked hard enough…achieved tiny and is yet to harvest. Then I thought instead of waste money on big brands just because they put bread and butter together and call it BRETT and present it to me as something I will never taste if I don’t taste it from them doesn’t stop it from being bread and butter. I want to be master chef and not a connoisseur…and so my next assignment is on a business plan that will liberate me and completing set me FREE. I have got yet another track to run.
Happy blogging
Your prodigal blogger
…Lighty…

N.B love you loads...missed you so much...elated to be back.

Just a little different....

Yeah... so i havent done this for ages just cos i never felt the spirit to but somehow this has been cripping on on. Been sneaking in and out blogville to see wotz up. Through my observation, aint much as happened really. Boi! have i been on a rollercoaster ride this past year??? my answer to that will be OH YES!!!! but somehow through what appears to be life's way on trying to throw me off balance, I remain steady, happy and not shaken. I has a bizzare fling/relationship with some dude that thought he was making a fast one on me. You know one of them people that think they are playing you and deep that you think to yourself you aint man enough to play me how dumb of you to think you're out-smarting me? so with him i had this rubbish relationship, apart from the fact he was soooo shit in bed, he was also the most jealous, insecure and sad sad muthafucker i ever met in bwt he started acting funny so i let him go. it appears he wanted to go anyways. so shall i say i released him. If it was in a situation whereby i actually really cared, i would say i got played. noooooooooooooo. yea it would have been that. it i couldnt careless. thereby, it didnt really work out as he planned.

ohhh... this is funny, i had another relationship this year. oh this one was actually my boyfriend, for two weeks. aha ha ah ah ah ah. thinking about it makes me laugh. cos as soon as i broke up with him, i forger i had a boyfriend. i only just remembered him now talking of a relationship, how wierd?


forget boiz, i have had the most amazing year of my life. the most successful for me for far. and the most progessive year too. been on 3 holidays including Nigeria and i just might be relocating to naij early next year. we shall see. hopefully i will cope. considering am a tough figther. or ammmm i??? no be naij??? i go survive jor. and if i cannot... abeg jand is only but six hours away. ill just come back. e no hard.


well hopefully am back on blogville. i will return to share all my turnovers in details, right now i say Thank you Jesus. for through it all u keep a smile on my face.
xoxo.


this was free style so free any typos aiit????

ay ay ay.... just me talking or is it thinking.

...even i am scared to blog. not scared but boi! has it been a while. am here thinking how is this done again? do i just strip my thoughts into a readily blank page and show the world? or do i write like am talking to that mystic fellow in my brain? the one i often talk to sometimes out loud where friends think me crazy. then i thought nah... i'll write; not for writing itself's sake but because i have all these things to say.... although i have no idea where to start from or what topic to select in the folder of my brain...



Am in a new city... obviously we got that cleared... Am still single... yeah because relationships are strange now... scary piece of frigging sh*t. lol! nahhh thats harse. i mean with a suitable person its beautiful... ay ay...problem is who is suitable now ey? relationships around me are so scary and believe sex is the problem... no, not sex... free sex and greed. ones like; ure so greedy u want ur girl's best mate... or u think he's too perfect for ur girl u want a slice or that too, just share in the public cake uh? he he lol! or lets think of married men chasing skirts... check out a single lady thinking that married man loves her more than he does his wife... dream on sister.



that leaves me wondering, could it be a power thing? could it be that men think they have a sort of power over a woman when they have slept with her and in their quest to feel energised with the fluid of the power fuel they ran round in circle to see where the next woman to enslave in their ego cage lies... then i wonder maybe women have decided that Yes finally liberation since the discovery of the clit... ever since sex was no more boring... how sad it will be to be stuck with just this short stick man. why cant i have juliet's bloke he's got a big one and remember there is my clit. YAY! dat should be fun. lol! anyway am not even about to get into this whole riddle ringt now... i have been doing too many thinking and even complicating my own thoughts sef. i tell you ern... too much of everything dries up your body cells.





so... where was i? oh yeah i dont know what to write or where to start from i'll give you bits and pieces, lets make guys the topic.



guy 1: not my type, good looking, nice, down-2-earth, fun loving and professional skilled. why is he not my type again??? emmmm... cos he's not. so i play it down with him, although cos he's in love with me as he declared and has a huge heart, he's one of my closest friends. with this guys i could be 100% undiluted razz and not care. lol. he's lovely really. shame he's not my type.



guy 2: alright looking, professional skilled, my type but full of ego and self pride: i am so good at knowing when to stop that i hardly ever go wrong kind of attitude. its good sometimes but other times it leaves a sour taste that just puts him in the immature category. a lil' bit over the top if u know what a mean. now the problem with guy 2 is denial insecurities. apparently i work out to be a challenge that he cannot phantom, so he carries on with a blase attitude that makes him look like a headless chicken running round in circles. thats he's cup of tea not mine. story for another day.

guy 3: professionally skilled today there's this girl he is checking out. tomorrow he is fancing rugby players on tv. day after tomorrow he thinks all the cute guys at the mall are checking him out. ohh and he just remembered, he's ex has just broken up with him and he is broken hearted so now he is depressed. this is my take: fringing make up ur mind... are u gay, vain, broken hearted, all thats mentioned or just plain confused? but he is my friend so i accommodate him. and wait for it; he is making moves on mi. ayy ayyy. i beg ohh. comot road.


guy 4: professional skilled just like guy 1 and 2, good looking. could be my type except he is not. different religion and for religious reasons its bye bye mister man. sweet guy though determined to make me his girl. but ermmm thats a shame now isnt it. **sigh**.

so.... on the yadi note. i'll leave you guys here.
for the record: am alive hail hearty and living life to the full.


ignore any mistakes am at work....
by the way how is it that am posting on 22nd of april and its showing 1st of march. hmmmm dats interesting anyway i have amended it the little way i know.
love u guys
~pebbles~

...lets aim for the bigger piece

... the thing is everybody believes they deserve to be loved. when has love not been an issue for women? i am begining to wonder if the search for love is on the same scale for guys as it is for women. This whole thing is becoming so bogus to me. its like the guys are extremely confident that whenever they are ready, love will find its way and i must say, they often get ten times lucky. should women be as patient as men on their quest of the 'right' one? is that why we get done over time and time again? that we rush things and we are to eager for something to erupt while the guys are so chilled out?

the guys on the other hand would not settle for what they think less. in other words; they do not settle (at least not everytime, sometimes they fall short thought). its amazing that only a few men stay miserable in a relationship becuase once they get bored they find other means to keep them happy; be it chill with their boys, absord in football, books, video games, other making money means or simply go get down with some next woman.

on other hand, the women find themselves settling for less for one to many reason or the other and end up miserable as fcuk in their relationship and for shame of pretend happiness being reveled they remain in the shit hole.

is life unfair or do we dig our well of sadness with out own hands.

i think i am begining to think like a man, because it looks like they are getting the bigger piece of the cake and like oliver twist 'i want more'.

adios~

until my schedule permits me another post.

kisses.


before you start thinking i was done over by a guy, i wasnt. i was just thinking.

scribble/my apartment.

To be or not to be?

Early this morning I heard a knock on my door and decided to open up to see who it was. To my surprise it was the same girl who knocked yesterday, the one that said her house was on fire and she needed help except it wasn’t, she fooled me into her house and what I saw shook my heart. In her living room, right there on her couch was her boyfriend; naked with absolutely nothing on but yogurt smeared on his coo chi. I screamed from shock but Anita grabbed me from behind and they both took me to the bedroom and tied me to the bed.

She started, Anita started by taking off all of my clothes while Sawyer stood there watching, absolutely naked with nothing but the smeared yogurt on his coo chi. Afterwards she took my nipples in her mouth. And caressed it with her tongue, squeezed it tightly first then gently and soft. I had I black out and woke up two hours later on my bed and behold I had been dreaming.

So today Anita was there again, standing in front of me except this time I wasn’t sure if I was dreaming. she said there was a fire in her house and she needed help but I couldn’t move my lips, couldn’t say nothing, I just stood there staring and staring at her, more so I couldn’t move, it was li- it was like-like everything was still, even the air from my breath seized and I couldn’t blink. Anita repeated herself, there was a fire in her house and she needed help. I went with her to her house, and in her living room was her boyfriend lying on the couch with nothing on but their dog; Perry giving him head. I had another blackout and woke up five minutes ago relieved it was yet another dream. Oh! it has to be a dream.

~Fiction~

JUST A LITTLE WISER!!!

Its my birthday today. i just thought i'lld let you know. your kind thoughts, blessings and prayers are all welcome.


how am doing??? am just there. just another day like the rest of them but mos def a little wiser than yesterday.

how the last year went by? ill'd say i came out every tunnel shining illuminously. so i give thanks.

love you all.

i will update next week with a proper post.

~kisses~

update... oh my i just got flowers and chocolates sent upstairs from security. from this guy that wants me as his girlfriend. awww am blushing lol... awww bless. i feel really special now and ive got all my work mates wanting to know wot d deal is with this guy. he is not my boyfriend i say. and they reply well not yet. lol!!!

My keeping thus far!

so... one of my last real post talked about me getting a transfer and moving cities. I didnt get the 2bedmroom apartment i talked about and ended up bunking in my friend's place for some 3 gruesome weeks. i say gruesome because i felt so uncomfortable, my things were left unpacked in boxes and bags it wasnt it at all. i felt so choked and miserable.

...then we decided to save some money and get a place together, i agreed; good idea why not? we go view a newly built apartment still on the edge of completion and fell immediately in love with it. the show room was off the chain, it had 2 master bedrooms with 1 shower room/toilet and a bathroom/toilet. we decided as soon as it was completed 1 week from then, we were moving in instantly. agreed.
when we got to her house, she told to me that she would be taking the shower room/toilet because she hates bath tubs. fair enough for me since am a bathroom freak never minding she wasnt discussing it, she simply stated it. 2mins later i got a catelogue and started looking through bathroom decor only for her to tell me she's getting jealous and she doesnt think she wants the shower room no more. i laughed that off, how ridiculous???

this young lady decided to wake me up from sleep to tell me she needs to talk to me about the apartment we will soon be sharing. guys i was mighty ticked off cos i was so tired. she goes; 'ive been thinking about the idea of me taking the shower room and i dont think i like it very much. i know am not into taking baths but i quite enjoy the decor that comes with a bathroom'. ok not precisely but that was what she said. i asked her what she wanted she said it will be nice to share both. i tell her no problem can i go back to bed. she's like even if we dont share we can use either one and leave the second for guests. i said not problem was that all she said yes and i went back to bed.

we saw 2 showrooms, the 2bed and the 1bed. quite frankly, the 1bed was so nice and i had been dreaming of it ever since the day but i didnt want to be the horrible person to say; right! i want to live alone after agreeing to share a place.

and so... that night i said a prayer to God, that he should teach me what to do and show me a way out of getting a place with her.

at work the next day on my lunch break i get a text. saying she thinks moving together is not a good idea and she is not ready for the expenses and stress that comes with it.

... that was my ticket to freedom. i immediately sent her a text saying i understand and it is completely ok, ill just get the 1bed then. that was one of the happiest days of my life. i called the agent told him about my plans and immediate arranged to move in at the end of the week, the opening of the apartments.

when i got to my friend's house that day, i didnt want any frictions so i carried on as normal, she was uncomfortable i could tell but i kind of eased her tension by talking to her about what she wanted to do next. i didnt tell her i had arranged to move by the end of the week though. the day after she asked what i was doing for the weekend and i answered nothing. she then went ahead to say cos her boyfriend is coming so i'll have to arrange something. which means i should find my square root in the weekend. in an unfairliar city u guys. i thought that was most horrible.

you needed to see the reaction on her face when i told her i was moving out on the friday; absolutely PRICELESS!!!

I now live in my beautiful apartment. happy with life most joyous that the Lord had guided my footsteps and i tell u, life could not be sweeter.

problem now is because its newly built. the postcode is not yet recognised and i have no internet connection, no cable and no landfone. apart form that life is purrfect!!!

the apartement is fully furnished so there was not much i could do with decor except give it some touches here and there to make it mine own private space. plus it is so spacious its just beautiful. i go to work and all i can dream of is going back to my house just to be in it.
this is the summary of my life in the last 2months.

... so, tell me what u've been up to.

LETTER TO MY BELOVED + AM ALIVE

Am really sorry blog family, am too busy for words and i actually am squeezing this in for you guys just so my blog doesnt remain dead for longer than it already is.

YOU COME IN SWAGGERED UP LIKE YOU OWN MY TERRITORY

TELL YOU WHAT, I BET YOU DO.

IN YOUR FLASHING WHITE TEETH YOU BROADEN YOUR GRIN.

EYES SPARKLING LIKE LITTLE DROPS OF DIAMONDS ON OLD SOUTH AFRICAN ROCKS.
I TAKE IN YOUR SMILE,

YOUR AIR FEELS MY LUNGS AND SLIGHTLY ALMOST CAUSE IT TO EXPLODE

YOU ARE MY LOVE, MY BELOVED LOVE.

DID I EVER TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOUR SPEECH ENGULFS THE SYLLABLES IN MY NAME?

HOW PERFECTLY YOUR MOUTH ROUNDS THE LETTERS MY NAME MAKE UP?

HOW TINGLY MY TUMMY GETS WHEN YOU NEAR ME?

I BET I DIDNT, NOW YOU KNOW.

DARLING BELOVE I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER OF GRATITUDE

TO THANK YOU FOR THE SPLENDID, HEART SHATTERING, BED BREAKING LOVE

MAKING SESSIONS WE INVOLVE IN.

THOSE ARE THE GREATEST.

HOW YOU BEND ME OVER WHILE SWEAT ROLL FROM THE BACK OF MY NECK TO MY SUPPLE BOTTOM.

YOU MY DEAR HAVE YOUR NAUGHTY WAYS.

NOW STOP SMILING, WE DONT WANT YOUR PERFECT FACE GETTNG WRINKLED OVER EXUBERANT EXPRESSION,

PICTURE ME SPANKING YOU HARD FOR THAT.

BELOVE YOU DO NOT HAVE THE KEYS TO MY HEART DO YOU?

BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO BE LOCKED AND I CANNOT FIND THE KEYS.

IF YOU DO, BRING IT ALONG WITH YOU

SO WE CAN FINALLY START A LIFE TOGETHER

I AM SICK OF LIVING IN MY HEAD WITH YOU

PLEASE SHOW YOUR FACE

BY THE COLOUR OF THE KEYS IN YOUR HANDS

I WILL KNOW IT IS YOU.

please ignore every mistake made too much hurry. kisses mi loves.

RANTING!!!

... and i thot the second half of new cars come out in september. as it is, new cars in the UK come out twice a year. March and Sept. One will think i should be very busy now, with bmw, mercedes and other car freaks buying brand new cars and disturbing my peace at work during feb and august but am bored senseless here. i miss my customers, sad as that might sound, i really do. some of them are so much fun. one of them begged to add him on FB just yesterday. at first i took the email down, then i thought nahh forget it.

blogville!!! am yarning. ok the olympics, who's following??? china as at yesterday has 25 gold medals? thatz insane. its only been a week mates!

so my transfer has been sorted fully, and come 1st of sept i'll be in a new city, earning bigger money, enhancing myself with better benefits and taking home mega bonus. life is great. i wonder what the future of the newcity holds. maybe i'll finally leave the single life. you never know. i just might discover that the city is where i belong or it may turn out terrible. maybe i'll hate the whole place but i doubt i will.

i cant wait to get into my new flat. fully furnished, new apartment, two bedrooms, in the heart of the city. decorating is my talent. by the time i finish with my place, they will name the whole building LIGHTY. this is excitement speaking i tell you.

let me see what else is going on in my life...

oh! so am going to watch batman again today for the third time. i know right??? i must be a freak but this time am watching it on 3D. I cannot wait for those effects on 3D especially the car fight part, that would be MEGA!!!

anyways my darling, its time to go home. so imma holla later.

afro darling, i know i avnt come thru but i will, i promise.

i was speaking to one of my customers the other day and she insisted i watch her son on TV today or was it yesterday. i cannot rememeber now but she told me about a month ago, even if am one day off at least i still manage to remember shea? i call that customer relation. apparently her son is supposed to be the strongest man in the whole of the midlands in England and BBC is supposed to air an interview or is it a show show-casing his strenght which may enable him to feature in the world record.

i just checked my diary it was yesterday the 15th oh well. am sure they'll show a re-run or i could just watch BBC Iplayer for the re-run.

abeg i dey go house. not before i get myself two pairs of shoes from the stores though. am off to bask in my excitment, if that makes sense.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee muahXXX.